edgy dancing

kaleidoscope

2012-02-27T16:45:00.000Z

Through facebook I was aware that one of my 'friends' was going to be on BBC1's 'The Big Question' discussing the problem of alcohol.
Martin's Dad occasionally preached at the church where I spent my early adult life and we were enthralled at the amazing work that was being done in Kingston. There was always an open invitation to visit and have a meal in their cafe with its big red aga and expresso machine.
But Eric always emphasised that no-one should think that they could copy their work but that each church had to work out for themselves the work that God wanted them to do.
Over the years friendships were established and when I had my call to the ministry, it was suggested that the call should be tested by putting me on the reception desk to help dispense Methadone. Some of my shifts were during the day, sometimes in the evening but often I would start at 11pm by locking the gates, logging off the computer for the day and then clean the reception area which meant mopping down the floor and cleaning the loo! Eventually I would get my head down and be woken by my alarm in time to wash and dress, get the computer up and running for the day and unlock the gates ready to welcome the first clients of the day at 7am. These were often well dressed men and women who would then commute to London.
Very occasionally a client would get chatting asking me why I was there, and although I was rather wary of telling them, they were always delighted and would tell me about their faith. But sometimes they would let slip a little about their lives which left me thinking... what would I have done? how would I have coped? I learnt that very important lesson about never judging someone else, especially if it is very unlikely that one would ever have to walk a mile in their shoes.

I went to the doctor's and now I have a cold!

2012-02-09T15:28:00.001Z

Each year I have a general check up for both my asthma and diabetes which fortunately and with a lot of will power, I manage to keep under control. But unfortunately a few days later I started sneezing and blowing my nose. By Tuesday I felt washed out and have spent most of the week taking it very easy.
Then this morning we saw the weather forecast predicting snow overnight and for most of tomorrow! and we thought we should do the weekly shop today before we are likely to get snowed in, although we do realise that the forecast could be wrong!
So this afternoon I'm back on the sofa with my feet up and a blanket over my legs but I have been reminded of my recent session at college where we have been looking at self awareness, concentrating on being aware of our bodies.
As other blogging friends know very well, it is when we are confronted with a serious illness that we take far more notice of our bodies, because if we are unaware or work through pain or stress our bodies can become quite unwell.
In Psalm 139 we are reminded that our bodies, all the delicate and inner parts were knitted together in our mother's womb by God. And so it is up to us to take great care of our bodies and not to abuse them.
And as someone who loves knitting, I love the idea that God picked up knitting needles and made me!

fancy meeting you here!

2012-01-25T12:41:00.002Z

Back in the late 70s, I was asked by our minister if I would help out with the young people. Some years previously, the churches in the centre of our town in South London suburbia had agreed to work together to eventually become one church by 1980, and the youth group was where all the young people from all the four churches met each Sunday evening. Sadly, one of the churches eventually voted against the agreement, but the youth group carried on.
I have kept in touch with some of the group; previously with the swapping of Christmas cards but more recently with the aid of facebook.
Last Saturday I was shopping in our local supermarket in South Wales when I saw a familiar figure - a tall, fair haired lady who looked just like one of the youth group. I did a quick calculation and thought; "well she looks like Kate but does she look as if she is in her late forties?" the answer was "no!". But I couldn't get the idea out of my mind and kept looking at this lady through the various isles. I then saw that she was with two other ladies, one about the same age with darker hair - that clinched it, because Kate's sister had dark hair.
This was so strange that I could not concentrate on my shopping and I left hubby with the trolley and approached the dark haired lady as the other two had now walked away.
What was her name? I remember some confusion when her then boyfriend had ordered a cake for her 18th birthday and the person who iced the cake got her name wrong.
"Excuse me, is your name Julie?" "Judith" she replied - so I had got it wrong too!
I introduced myself, and it seems I have changed in the last 34 years! Gradually, Judy recognised me and called Kate back "Look it's Sue from Teens!".
Kate had seen us chatting and thought it typical that Judy having come from South London for a visit should bump into someone she knew!
Although I have been living here for five years, Kate has lived here for the last twenty years, while the minister mentioned above has lived in Wales for nearly thirty years and another member of the youth group also moved to Wales many years ago, and I will be seeing her this coming weekend, something I haven't got around to before!

is it really worth it?

2012-01-06T08:58:00.001Z

I see that Easter eggs are appearing on the shelves!
I don't think I had hit my teens when I realised that they were rather expensive for the amount of chocolate that they contained - so I asked my Mum and Dad if I could have a large bar of plain chocolate instead - even now it is difficult to buy a plain chocolate Easter egg!
Then the following November, I asked if I could have chocolate instead of fireworks - again they seemed so expensive and were often a dismal failure - a few seconds of sparkle in exchange for a lot of money!
It seems that I am unusual - but I wonder how many other people find the millions of pounds spent on a ten minute display at the beginning of the year, rather distasteful in this economic climate.
Where does the money come from?
And how many more millions - no billions are going to be spent on the opening and closing ceremonies at the Olympics? I love the procession of those taking part but isn't the rest of it us just showing off? but please don't burn all that money on fireworks!
And before that there will be the Queen's Jubilee? I know that many people will be doing something special to celebrate the event but do we really need yet more fireworks!

Happy New Year!

2012-01-02T15:42:00.000Z

We all say it, but life isn't all happiness and the first Christmas wasn't all singing, presents and gurgling babies either! It was very quickly followed by a jealous king killing all the boys under the age of two. So our service yesterday was a bit down-beat, remembering all those who still grieve for their children killed through war, accidents and disease.
But we also have many things for which we gave thanks. We welcomed two new deacons who are long standing members of the chapel and are now in a position to give more time to the fellowship.
And we also introduced to the congregation our new lectern.

We are very fortunate that the husband of one of our members is a very gifted carpenter who specialises in church furniture. We wanted a lectern that would fit in with the woodwork of the chapel and could be adjusted for people of different height and for those who are a bit unsteady on their feet and would prefer to sit to read. The top is also adjustable for those who prefer a different angle!
I asked if we could have a celtic cross carved into it.

We are so very happy with the finished result! It is brand new but looks so at home in our 174 year old chapel. Thank you Jeremy!

busy doing nothing

2011-12-30T16:25:00.000Z

The calendar looks very strange for this week - there is nothing written in for the whole week. Each morning I wake up and can decide what I will do that day - so it has been a week of doing things that have been left for months - no... years, waiting for some spare time.
When we moved in, two and a half years ago, curtains were hung up but in most cases they were too long. The curtains in the bedroom were floor length, which is no good if the radiator is under the window - so for the last two winters, each evening when the curtains were drawn the spare fabric was stuffed onto the window cill. They now end just below the cill and I shall save the spare fabric to recover our matching cushions - one day!
This morning I decided to shorten the bathroom curtains which were originally in my study when we lived up north. They are made in the William Morris design 'Strawberry Thief'.
Many of our curtains are made in William Morris designs which is mainly due to my school days. The school consisted of three large Victorian houses in twenty-six acres of grounds.
Two of the houses were then joined together by the 'New Building'. One of these houses was originally owned by Mr Sanderson of wallpaper fame who was friends with Mr Morris and the whole school was decorated with Sanderson/Morris wallpaper with a piece of original wallpaper underneath the glass top of the 6th form table in the library. As a first year I remember looking longingly at the table thinking that it would be years before I would be able to sit there. But the day did come and although I cannot be certain, the design may have been 'Iris', the same as the bedroom curtains.
No photos of the bathroom yet - still work to be done but the end does seem to be in sight!

Happy Christmas

2011-12-25T15:08:00.000Z

Our Christmas Day services always start an hour earlier and folk like it to be short! and I'm quite happy to oblige. There was a slightly larger than usual congregation and the singing was superb - but then we are in Wales. There were no children with their already opened presents - but a few of the grown-ups told us what they had received. One lady was brave enough to tell us that her grandchildren had given her some anti-aging cream!
We celebrated Christmas on Friday with some of the family, so today we had 'left-overs' for lunch. Cooking a large meal for more than just the two of us seemed to slow the oven down and I always find it difficult to make sure that everything is cooked at the same time. But today was a far more calmer event and although we both enjoyed Friday's meal, today's seemed even more tastier!
So what will I be doing for the rest of the day? Well after the recent visit to the Chapel by the local school - the teacher saw that we collected stamps for BMS (the Baptist Missionary Society) and has kindly donated a huge amount of stamps to us - and so I will be sitting trimming off the excess envelop from around the stamps. I've already spent several hours doing this but it keeps me quiet and out of mischief!

I'm ready!

2011-12-21T15:51:00.001Z

It's been a while since I last blogged but this is not due to either ill health or being too busy - in fact I've been in better health with more energy than I have been for several years, so instead of sitting down playing on my computer or watching the tele in the afternoons I have made myself a coat, put underlay on the bathroom floor, been to a couple of Christmas parties, made mincemeat and turned half of it into pies.
I've not overdone things - just made the most of the new found energy! and in the last few days I've made the Christmas pudding, cleared my study of all papers on the floor and every available work surface, made chocolate mousse, stewed pears in red wine for Sarah who doesn't like dried fruit and made two batches of ice-cream and - oh yes - prepared the service for Christmas morning!
I will now wrap the last few presents that I bought this morning ready to celebrate Christmas on Friday - Paul and Sarah and the grandboys are coming for a couple of days, which I will really enjoy and it will be so nice and quiet on Christmas Day when they will be at their other grandparents!

back at school

2011-12-01T21:22:00.001Z

Once again I'm at college, ready for the day's course tomorrow, and feeling so much better - thank you for all your messages.
I am so grateful to my Mum and the way she treated me when I was little and poorly - she got me to really think about how I was feeling, never pushing me or molly-coddling me. It has helped me not to push myself when I'm not quite right and not to over-do things.
But I did make full use of the time. As you must realise by now, although I love dance I also love sewing and stitches of all kinds and over the last few weeks have made myself a long jacket (they used to be called car coats!) out of some lovely fabric I impulse bought three years ago! and also picked up a tapestry I put down 30 years ago!
That was when we adopted Mandie, then I lost the instructions and have since found them, many moves later! The tapestry is for a cushion, all stitched in beige with various stitches including one which is used for making carpets - it's a cross stitch with a loop in the middle which is then cut - it looks good but takes ages!
I have now completed the 2nd quarter of the cushion and put it down once again to knit myself a cardi with some wool which has been waiting its turn for the last two years.
This evening I met with Mandie and Dave for dinner, then tomorrow after the course, its down to Brighton in time for Stanley and Ted's bath-time and I will then babysit so that Paul and Sarah can have a child-free night out. On Saturday, I will drive up the M23 round the M25 to Epping Forest to cuddle Oliver and will ask Mark very nicely to tweak my computer while Katie and I catch up on Oliver's progress.
After lunch I'll be back on the M25 to the M4 and home ready to take the service on Sunday morning - fortunately I love driving and I have also been able to prepare everything before coming away so that I can have a lovely time with all the kiddies.

playing truant

2011-11-27T12:21:00.001Z

Well, that is what it feels like!
Two weeks ago, I started manic sneezing and by Monday a full blown cold had developed. And although the sneezing and blowing of the nose has subsided, I am left with a nasty frog in my throat and raging lethargy! Fortunately my brain doesn't seem to have been affected too much so instead of going to Chapel today I have started preparing for next Sunday with grateful thanks to C. for listing the various themes of advent.
I never played truant from school - I was too much of a goody, goody! But when I went to fashion college, I could not see the point of some of the 'school' lessons we received on two afternoons each week. I was useless at french at school and couldn't quite understand what poetry had to do with fashion! so would often escape early. All I can remember of Business Management was asking the tutor, who was a Roman Catholic, which verse in the bible told them that contraception was wrong! I went home, looked it up and decided that it was not the deed that was wrong but the fact that Onan disobeyed God. (Genesis 38: 8-10 if you are interested)
It is beautiful here this morning, the air is fresh and the sun has been shining all morning, but a quick visit to a neighbour showed me that I was not up to walking the half mile to chapel and my rule is that if I'm not up to walking, I'm not well enough to go. I have to remember that we have some elderly members in our congregation and I neither want to give them my bugs or catch a different bug on top of what I already have! However, it is difficult for both myself and others not to go to chapel when one has a cold!

it all started with two elderly ladies...

2011-11-13T15:09:00.001Z

Let me explain...
It seems to have been tradition in our chapel to sing the blessing of 'May God's blessing surround you each day' not only at the end of the ladies meeting but also at the end of every Sunday service. Having said 'The Grace' for many years in various churches, with open eyes to as many as possible in the congregation, I opened my mouth and asked why we here sang the blessing to the floor!
From then on we have sung it to each other and warned visitors what we were about to do - that they were likely to have people turning round and smiling at them!
Now we have two super, bright as buttons, no marbles missing, ladies with failing eyesight, who because they could not see each other very well would grasp each other's hand.
And this spread.
All down one side of the chapel!
I was speaking to another member at the Bible study during the week about my desire that it should happen all over the chapel. And this morning she sat on the other side of the chapel and started it going so that there were hands grasped on both sides.
Much has been said recently about falling numbers and the need for mission from the churches. This is difficult when a large proportion of a church or chapel is already elderly but I think it is wonderful when a congregation feels comfortable enough to smile and clasp hands, blessing each other for the coming week.

and it was wonderful!

2011-11-07T13:00:00.000Z

Several days have past since tea at the Savoy, with a day's course on Conflict Resolution and an excellent journey back to Wales with trains arriving early to enable me to catch the earlier local train from Newport, thus avoiding the usual half hour wait when all I want to do is get home! Yesterday was one of my preaching Sundays with a service of prayer for healing in the afternoon.
This morning has seen me tidying up the house and ironing the washing from Saturday! So now I can sit down and post the promised photos from Thursday's treat.
The exhibition of Degas was very interesting. Maggie thought I would enjoy it as it would bring back memories of my dancing days. Which it did! His paintings and models often had bent legs and I could suddenly remember being told off for not pulling up my knees and I even have a photo to prove that I often forgot - Nora Batty had nothing on me! And then there was the blood on the tights as one removed one's points - the animal wool wrapped around one's toes still didn't stop the blisters which bled! No wonder I stopped dancing!
Degas was particularly interested in the movement of the human body, so as well as his paintings there were very early cameras which took a series of photographs - early forerunners to the movie camera - and wonderful footage of dancers as well as - dare I say it..... naked men!
And on to tea... the entrance to the restaurant had a table covered in orchids!

Sorry for the blurred background - I was so excited that my tremor was quite wild!
There was a choice of over twenty different kinds of tea but I chose my favourite of Assam and of course it was the best Assam I had ever tasted! Five different sandwich fillings and we asked for more! followed by fruit and plain scones with home-made lemon curd and strawberry jam and clotted cream. Next came the pastries; we each chose two from the choice of seven, apart from Ele who had a third to take home for her hubby. By this time I had eaten my limit, so one pastry was wrapped in a tissue for the journey home the following day along with the next course of cake!
We were there for over two hours during which we were entertained by a lady playing the grand piano. A wonderful experience with excellent company!

From the left; Maggie, Hev, Mandie and myself - Ele kindly took the photo.

ladies who lunch

2011-11-02T15:24:00.000Z

is a phrase that describes ladies who do not need to earn a living but instead meet up to have lunch in expensive restaurants!
Tomorrow I am meeting up with two 'ladies' and two daughters and instead of lunch we are going to have tea at the Savoy! We have decided to wear skirts and be proper ladies! But first we will be going to the Degas exhibition at the Royal Academy.
Having Afternoon Tea in London is something I have only done three times before and it is a special treat, especially for a diabetic as the menu is likely to send my blood sugar up rather quickly! My first afternoon tea was for a hen party many years ago and even included a lady playing a harp!
I enjoyed the experience so much that I suggested to my friend at college that we drive up to London (those were the days when you could still park in the centre of London without paying congestion charges or take out a mortgage for the meter) and have tea to celebrate taking our final exams. Comments were made to us by our fellow male students because we were wearing skirts that we were going to see a tutor to get an extension on an essay - and they were not joking!
And then I had tea with my son and his future bride and met her Mum for the first time.
This time I will be meeting up with my friend Maggie from teenage years - she was my bridesmaid forty odd years ago and she made my cake. Two years later, I was her bridesmaid and made her dress. The other 'lady' is her sister-in-law, her other bridesmaid, known as Hev, who I have met at gatherings just three times in all the intervening years and yet we always get on so well. It was all Ele's (Maggie's daughter) idea and Mandie, my daughter has managed to get the day off. So we will all meet in the centre of town having come from Leicester, Dover and South Wales and I expect that there will be a lot of laughter. I shall take my camera but cannot guarantee that I will remember to take any photos!

another funeral

2011-10-24T15:41:00.000+01:00

In this part of Wales, one is either 'church' or 'chapel', and therefore anyone who would call themselves 'chapel' would have their funeral service at the local Chapel. Today we have buried a man who had been prominent in the village and although I know one of his daughters I had never met him. We were warned in advance that the funeral directors had printed three hundred orders of service and that the Chapel would be full with the family alone! Fortunately we have a Sunday School room and a converted stable - originally used when the preacher would arrive on horseback! When I arrived an hour before the start of the service those two rooms were starting to fill up and were full when there was still half an hour to go.
By the time I greeted the family at the gates there were about a hundred people standing in the graveyard! It is on occasions like this that the switch is thrown onto the outside speakers and the service can be heard even outside the Chapel grounds! Fortunately the promised rain held off and even though it is quite mild for the time of year I still wore an extra jumper underneath my black blouse and yes - a dog collar! With so few of today's visitors coming to Chapel each Sunday I feel it helps them to know which one is the minister!

food glorious food

2011-10-16T15:32:00.000+01:00

In response to the World blogging Action Day with the theme this year of food, I sit down to write with a full stomach! And realise that I am fortunate!
I am not a vegetarian but some years after a buddhist stayed with us for ten days, I found it very difficult to handle raw meat once more. I soon overcame the feeling and we do still eat meat but have just as many vegetarian meals as those containing meat.
However, when buying food, what is uppermost in my mind is that it is organic. We were advised many years ago to avoid all 'E' numbers and go as organic as possible for health reasons. At that time it was quite difficult to buy organic food - it depended if there happened to be a wholefood shop where you lived but over the years more supermarkets have an organic range. But I still have yet to find a local supplier of organic goat's cheese which is suitable for someone with an allergy to cow's milk.
And I like to buy 'fair-trade' food but only a few produce organic fairly traded products so big thanks to Clipper for our tea and coffee and Green & Blacks for our treat of chocolate!
Please don't think we are super rich to be able to buy organic - we have always done this on a modest pension because I don't buy prepared meals, we don't snack between meals or visit the local pub and only go out for a meal if it is a special occasion.
When ever I hear of people who find that they have some form of chronic disease I try to encourage them to go organic - how can the body recover if it is having to cope with man-made chemicals that we eat with our food?
Over the last couple of years I have been visiting the doctors in the hope of finding something that would reduce my benign tremor - I often have difficulty in getting my food to my mouth before my hand shakes and the food flies off my fork! She told me that she was seeing many more patients with a tremor and when I suggested that it was caused by the various chemicals we have all eaten since the second world war, she agreed.
Ten years ago, John Humphrys of the Today programme wrote 'The Great Food Gamble' - it still makes very scary reading but it might well explain why there are more people with Alzheimer's, M.E. (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), tremors and other strange unexplained problems with health.

I've been published!

2011-10-13T14:55:00.000+01:00

This post is much longer than usual - in fact it's huge! It is a piece I have written for the Baptist Ministers' Journal.

Personality and Spirituality: What are you?

When looking through the annual magazine of the National Retreat Group, one can find many courses on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and the Enneagram held by Retreat Houses. Having undertaken one, friends are likely to ask; “What are you?”.

I will give a brief description on both the MBTI and the Enneagram but for further explanation of the different personality types a list of further reading is given.

In recent times spirituality has been typically expressed in different ways. Philip Sheldrake describes spirituality as “the human response to God that is both personal and ecclesial. In short, ‘life in the Spirit’”. While Roy Kearsley stresses “that repentance is a moral act involving the turning of the whole person in spirit, mind and will to consent, and subjection, to the will of God”.

I prefer to think of spirituality as our relationship with God as opposed to our knowledge of God which is theology. As with any relationship there is change and growth in becoming more Christlike and this is found in each of the descriptions.

The MBTI was based on Jung’s work by Katherine Briggs (born in 1875 in the USA) and developed by her daughter Isabel Myers who was disturbed at the number of people who were asked to undertake tasks for which they seemed to have no aptitude during the second world war. However, it was difficult for an unqualified woman to break into the psychological establishment in America and it was not until 1975 that the Consulting Psychologists Press took over the publication of the Indicator. From that moment it took off and has now become the most widely used psychological instrument in the world.

The MBTI is made up of two pairs of attitudes and two pairs of functions.

Attitude - Extrovert & Introvert

Function - Sensing & iNtuitive

Function - Thinking & Feeling

Attitude - Judging & Perceiving

Each of us uses both, but prefers one of each pair, and it is these preferences which make up our type which consists of four letters; E or I, S or N, T or F, J or P.

Many people can work out their type from the descriptions of the attitudes and functions, but to obtain a more accurate typing and to discover how much of a preference one has, it is very useful to go on a Myers-Briggs workshop. Once booked for a workshop, a questionnaire is received, consisting of 150 questions devised by Myers-Briggs. The form is returned and a qualified evaluator plots the result on a scale of preference from nought to seventy. These results are only for the person concerned and cannot be compared with other peoples results because the score is the difference in preference only and does not measure abilities or development.

By studying the MBTI we can see how different people prefer to get their energy, take in information, analyse that information and also prefer either acquiring or sorting that information. This not only affects the way we live our lives at home and at work but also involves our spiritual lives, influencing the way we prefer to pray, how we like our church services and all aspects of church life. By acknowledging our type, we begin to understand why we may sometimes find some forms of spiritual activity lacking in meaning, fulfillment or satisfaction, and rather than feeling guilty or thinking that there is something wrong with us, we may wish to explore other ways of prayer and worship.

The MBTI can help to explain why some people prefer to worship where they are open to their senses being stimulated, as within Roman Catholic churches, while others enjoy strong biblical preaching to get them thinking and yet others prefer a charismatic service. It could also explain why prayer meetings are often attended by only a small proportion of a church and why some folk get benefit from going on retreat, whereas for others it seems to be a boring waste of time!

In a recent television program on Silence, we could see that for some, being quiet and on one’s own suited them, while for others it took several days before they could adjust to that way of life, but having discovered it, they found it quite profound, showing that prayer and silence is needed by us all but far more difficult for some to achieve.

Different personality types will prefer to pray in different ways, be attracted to different Gospels and like to sing different hymns and songs.

Morton Kelsey in Companions on the Inner Way admitted that “it is often difficult for us to see how those of a totally opposite type from ourselves can be Christian!”

This statement has been of the greatest help to me as I have also realised that not only those who I have found difficult, but especially those who I know have found me difficult, are of a different type to myself!

As well as each individual having a personality type, churches will also have a distinctive personality type and it may be very different to that of their minister!

And so we have to be very careful within our churches to understand the church’s personality if we wish to introduce change. We often say that people do not like change but it could be that a church is suited to the present form of worship. Introducing a more informal form of worship will not suit those who prefer order, whereas some changes will help others to grow in their spiritual lives.

Although we are aware that we grow and develop physically from babyhood, through teenage years into adulthood, middle years and old age, we often do not realise that our personalities go through a similar maturing process.

It is believed that the four letters in our MBTI type never alter, but in mid-life we can start to discover and use aspects of our shadow type. I am an INFP and my shadow type is ESTJ. Undertaking academic study in my forties forced me to use my T function and J attitude.

By using our shadow type, the differences in our preference becomes smaller and as a result we become more balanced and whole people.

However, one of the problems of exploring the MBTI is that once we have found our type we can tend to use it as an excuse for the way we behave and the way we prefer to worship.

While the MBTI concentrates on our preferred way of behaviour, the Enneagram looks to our way of coping with life which in turn influences the way we act.

There is mystery and secrecy surrounding the Enneagram and its history.

It is thought to have originated in Afghanistan nearly 2000 years ago, with links into early Christianity in Persia and then into Moslem Sufi circles in central Asia and India. Until the last century it remained an oral tradition, with the Sufi master only imparting that aspect of the Enneagram relevant to their student’s personality.

It was introduced into the United States in the early 1970s by Oschar Ichazo, who studied the system in Chile, and from there the Enneagram was passed on through lectures.

Around the same time it was also taken up by G.I. Gurdjieff, who was an early pioneer in adapting Eastern spiritual teachings for use by modern Westerners. Gurdjieff worked with the teachings and developed the basic diagram of nine points in a circle, naming it the Enneagram, meaning nine points. Although the teachings were passed on to others, including religious orders, especially the Jesuits, part of the instruction was to keep the method a secret. However, by the 1980s this part of the instruction seems to have been dropped as many courses have been held and books published.

The Enneagram identifies nine personality types and their inter-relationships; the basic idea being that very early on in our life we slowly realise that we are unloved, which leads to some form of compulsion. It is the way in which this happens that affects us to such an extent that our Enneagram type is formed. Each type is known by its number but in some books each of the nine types is named after the compulsion. However, because many of us find it difficult to acknowledge our compulsions, which can be thought to be rather negative, other authors use the gift of each type to give a more positive description.

The nine types are:

One: The Perfectionist or The Reformer

Two: The Giver or The Helper

Three: The Performer or The Achiever

Four: The Tragic Romantic or The Individualist

Five: The Observer or The Investigator

Six: The Devil’s Advocate or The Loyalist

Seven: The Epicure or The Enthusiast

Eight: The Boss or The Challenger

Nine: The Mediator or The Peacemaker

The Enneagram was originally developed as a spiritual tool to be used by the Sufi master, to enable them to help their directee to grow spiritually but the way it is now presented in books and short courses does not generally encourage people to grow but is usually just for the interest of the student.

The Sufi master would slowly discover the personality of their student through the answers given by the student to his questions. There was no one set of questions for everyone, the next question asked would depend on the previous answer. It was a time consuming occupation and although we now have books to study, it can still take a long time to discover one’s type and many have found that although they thought they were one number, further study has revealed that their first decision was wrong. This could be due to the fact that within the Enneagram we can have elements of a neighbouring type and move from one type to another depending on whether we are feeling secure or are under stress. A fellow student appreciated this attribute by describing it as the Enneagram’s “fuzzy edges”.

However, serious and lengthy study of the Enneagram can show us our compulsions and those things which hinder us from becoming the person God created.

At one course I attended, the tutor had made a three dimensional illustration of the nine pointed diagram, looking like a nine sided pyramid or teepee, with each of the nine sticks reaching from the nine points on the base meeting at the top. As we each mature, we travel up from the point of our type and at the same time become closer to the other types. This helps to explain why for some people it is difficult to know their type, realising that they can see aspects of themselves in each of the nine types.

Whereas within the MBTI we grow and develop by using our under developed shadow side, within the Enneagram, spirituality and development are intertwined. It has to be noted that there are some who have tried to link the two methods of typing which can be found on the internet.

However, we have to remember that both of these personality typings were designed to be used by others as a shorthand method of getting to know the personality of another. But in recent years has become a tool for each individual to discover and learn more about themselves.

By accepting who we are, acknowledging our faults and the type of person we are and knowing that God still loves us despite all our failings we can grow and become the person God created.

But at the same time the personality typings can be used in superficial ways for ourselves or to second guess the personality of others, including biblical characters.

There are books on both the MBTI and the Enneagram which explore the issue of Jesus’ personality type and the conclusions have been that he is a perfect balance of all the personality types. Part of Jesus’ divinity is that he was the perfect human being and in our spiritual development we can be described as human becomings.

One of Susan Howatch’s characters explains that “by putting yourself under the microscope in this way, you’ve learned something you didn’t know before - and that’s definitely a step forward on the spiritual journey where our first task is to know ourselves as well as we can in order to grasp what we can become.”

And that is how we should use these personality typings; as a tool to enable us to go further forward in our walk with God.

But both the MBTI and the Enneagram are only tools, “something useful up to a certain point.” We cannot rely on man-made tools to guide us on our spiritual journey but must keep our eyes on Jesus, our one true counsellor, be aware of the love of God and be open to the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

these are a few of my favourite things

2011-10-09T15:27:00.000+01:00

Having returned back to Wales, this afternoon I drove up one of the valleys to a very small rural Baptist chapel, only to find that another preacher arrived to take the service. I said "not to worry" and I am now home with my feet up, which will do me the world of good after my busy three days and it does give me the opportunity to reflect on Friday's course at CCDM (see previous post).
This was an introduction to personal and professional development and included several questionnaires for us to fill in at our leisure, one of which is to think about our favourite things. Apparently our favourite things are not just chosen at random but are far more likely to become a favourite because it is connected to something or someone that made an impression on us.
So my favourite colour is sky-blue-pink! As a young girl I asked my Dad his favourite and this was his reply which really annoyed me as I didn't think it was a proper colour. But it is the colour of beautiful evening skies and is most probably why my very few pieces of jewellery contain opals, which catch the light with pink and blue.
At first I could not think of a favourite food, but when I was younger I was allowed to choose what the family had for dinner on my birthday, and it was always cod curry and I still can't quite achieve making it like my Mum did!
Favourite music is the Beach Boys back from the days when one was either a fan of the Beatles or the Rolling Stones; I didn't like following the crowd!
My favourite person is/was the boy who lived up the road and accepted me as an equal.
And my favourite person from history is Catherine Bramwell Booth who was the granddaughter of William Booth who started the Salvation Army. She would appear on chat shows back in the 1970's and 80's and was well into her nineties, dressed in her uniform and had a wonderfully sharp mind - I want to be like her when I grow up!

here we are again

2011-10-07T08:41:00.000+01:00

I'm back at college. As I lived relatively nearby when I studied here full-time (wow, was it 19 years ago! how time flies) I never had a room at college; only a desk in the living room with the rest of the family going in and out - so I find it quite a luxury here, although many would find it very basic!
When I come to London I try to make the most of it and see as many friends and family as possible. So yesterday I went to Ealing where the daughter of my bridesmaid from 42 years ago lives - and my friend had come down from Leicester to look after said daughter who has had a knee op. Although we were not able to go out we were still ladies who lunch!
Then it was a drive to Croydon to meet up with my daughter and son-in-law for dinner.
Today is the first of this year's 'Centre for Continuing Development in Ministry' (CCDM) and as it is the last year in this particular form, far more people are coming, swelling our numbers from 15 up to 30.
This afternoon I will be driving down to Brighton to see my younger son Paul, his wife and the grandboys and then tomorrow its a drive half way round the M25 to see my other son Mark, his wife and very new baby Oliver.
Then its back to Wales in the afternoon, and fortunately I'm not preaching on Sunday so I can have a good rest!

numbers

2011-10-02T14:48:00.001+01:00

This morning was the first of a series on Acts, where the disciples see it as very important to choose another to replace Judas. My, he had a gory end; the more wicked the deed the more gory the end!
I was explaining to the congregation, which was thin on the ground this morning, that numbers were very important in biblical days. There needed to be 12 disciples as Jesus had prophesied that they would rule over the twelve tribes of Israel. Eleven wouldn't do - there had to be twelve.
Whereas, we don't worry over numbers, except wanting more people to come to chapel - we would be quite happy with eleven in a group.
Then something made me do a quick headcount of those of us in chapel - Eleven!

my kind of sport

2011-10-01T16:19:00.000+01:00

Many of my facebook friends are enjoying the rugby world cup but I have never enjoyed sport. I loved gym at school so I think it must be the competitive aspect of sport that I dislike - well that along with the fact that I was always one of the last picked to be in a team and then I would get wheezy with all the running about! Funny how I rarely got wheezy when I was dancing!
When I stopped ballet lessons as it didn't look as if it was going to be a good idea to take it up as a career, I went to ballroom classes. Same teacher but the added fun of boys! And a couple of years later I would go with friends to the Frank and Peggy Spencer ballroom in Penge on a Saturday evening to dance, not just to watch!
So as you can imagine I am a great fan of 'Strictly Come Dancing' and have great admiration for the celebrities who take part, especially those who are a similar age to myself. And for those of you who are inquisitive, I'm older than Lulu but not as old as Edwina!

party political conferences

2011-09-29T16:53:00.000+01:00

Way back when ... there was no television in the afternoon, let alone in the morning and the screen would go black in the evening leaving a little white dot in the middle - I would watch the party political conferences and enjoyed them. But now I avoid them. Have politicians changed or have I become very cynical?
I especially enjoyed seeing the young William Hague make his first speech and wondered where he would end up. He is now one of the very few politicians to whom I am happy to listen.
I wonder if labour's young Rory Weal will manage to make it to university and eventually become a politician? At the moment the cards are stacked against him.

sorry for the delay in transmission

2011-09-27T16:37:00.000+01:00

When I started this blog I thought that I would write something every week and now I realised that it is three weeks since I last wrote. This is mainly due to having something I want to say and finding that I have to write a sermon instead and then when I have time, I can't think what to say!
And now I'm here, all I can think about is the weather! Yesterday evening, I resorted to putting on a thick cardi and even wrapping a blanket around my legs and yet today I have just returned from a walk over the hills in shirt sleeves with the collar turned up to stop my neck from getting burnt! The walk was the first long one that I have done since bouncing off my bike while on holiday. There don't seem to be any ill effects but to be on the safe side my leg is now up having its 20 minutes of ice pack treatment - its lovely when it stops!

a change is as good as a rest

2011-09-06T11:40:00.001+01:00

As we moved here to retire, when asked to be the minister I said that I would preach twice in the month, rather than every week. So without the need to prepare for next Sunday and sewing all done and a deacon's meeting yesterday morning - what was I going to do next?
Back to the bathroom which needs another coat of paint on the walls - but first the door needs to be 'done'! We had the wall between the loo and the small bathroom removed giving us a much larger and spacious bathroom. When we moved in the inside of the loo door was completely covered with postcards and the builder decided that was the door that fitted best to the new doorway. So in those odd moments when I had nothing else to do (very rare!) or I was waiting for inspiration for a sermon, I would chip away at the postcards, and today is the day to get out the paintbrush.
I donned my rather fetching paint splattered romper suit with its dunlop badge - in a former life it played in the pits while a friend raced his MG Midget (no, not me, that's not one of my skills!).
But first I had to remove the remainder of the glue, washing it did no good, next was a scrub with a well known household cleaner - no luck - wallpaper scraper to the rescue - maybe it would have been easier to have bought a new door!
Having scraped and sandpapered the door is now ready for the first coat of paint. Over the years I have learnt that the best finish to decorating is only achieved by spending time in preparation. Just like many things in life!
Having revived myself with coffee and a rest writing this - its back to work!

being green but needs must

2011-09-02T09:03:00.000+01:00

It first started over 25 years ago when Adrian lodged with us. He was studying for his Masters at London University and during that year I learnt a lot about hay meadows and small leafed lime trees along with being cajoled into using eco-friendly washing up liquid and washing powder.
Fast forward ten years and for health reasons we are being recommended to omit all 'E' numbers from our food and eat organically as possible. And five years later, to go dairy free!
Over the last ten years eating this kind of diet has become far easier as most supermarkets have introduced an organic range along with a dairy free range. Until now!
With the recession, certain items are disappearing from the shelves! We love ice-cream and had found one which is soya based, with wonderful flavours, tasting far nicer than some dairy ice-creams. But our local supermarket has stopped selling the chocolate one. Boo hoo!
I know its not very green, but I have bought an ice-cream maker so that we can now enjoy a very rich, dairy free ice-cream along with so many other flavours which we could never indulge in before.

and there's more

2011-09-01T10:26:00.000+01:00

Sorry to bore everyone but the wedding is still on my mind and having posted my last blog, I remembered that there were a few folk who I had not thanked.

I had a lovely phone call with Mandie yesterday. They had a very short but wonderful holiday as Dave, being a white van driver with no paid holidays but had been given Tuesday off, had to get back to work. Meanwhile Mandie has the rest of the week to get their new home organised and find homes for their wedding gifts.

Many years ago I met Karen who, like me, had trained at the London College of Fashion, but she specialised in hair and beauty. When Karen married, I made her dress and when I married she did my hair and make-up. I still think that was the day I really looked my best thanks to her! Fortunately Karen was free to 'do' Mandie and her bridesmaid, and when arrived she offered to 'do' me as well. Many thanks again Karen!

While getting dressed Mandie couldn't find an unopened package sent to her earlier in the week from her designer sister-in-law. It was eventually found in the boys hotel bedroom! Inside she found a garter, made from the leftovers of her wedding dress, embroidered in pink with twinkles, matching the motifs of the lace on her dress. Big thanks to Sarah.

Mandie said how wonderful her big brother Mark had been at telling her to shut her eyes and take some deep breaths to help her calm down, whilst at the same time driving through the Saturday shopping traffic on our way to the register office!

Mark's wife, Katie (39 days to go) had my cam-corder for the day (I was far too shaky to use it!), unknown to Mandie, who was so thrilled to know that the Blessing and all the speeches had been filmed. Thank you Katie.

Paul, her other brother, is a wonder at making cakes but that was already in hand. But I can still thank him for being so good to Mandie in her teenage years as well as being another super big brother to her.

Mark & Katie, Dave & Mandie, Paul & Sarah

the wedding

2011-08-29T15:37:00.002+01:00

When she was growing up Mandie was surrounded by wedding dresses and loved all the glass beads that I sewed on lace on the bodices, so it was a forgone conclusion that her dress should be covered with twinkles! But the thought of hours of sewing on beads, along with knitting for the expected grandchild and writing sermons, was just too much. So we took the easier option, although more expensive, of buying beaded lace with duchess silk satin underneath. The dress stays in place with an inbuilt corset! And of course it had to have matching buttons down the back. A matching bag was made, lace motifs were put on her shoes and a band to cover her tatoo!

Her brother drove her to the registry office and managed to calm her down when to tears flowed from the excitement of the day. She and Dave have been together for nine years although they have been officially engaged for just six months.
Her friend from schooldays made the cake with icing motifs made to match the lace of the dress.
Like most brides and grooms they were surrounded by their friends and families, but for Mandie it was made extra special as her 'real' Mum was there as well!
After the civil ceremony we went into the park where I was able to give a Blessing.

Then to the pub where we had an upper room with a large balcony so that we could enjoy the celebrations, meeting new members of the family and the sunshine.
The photos are thanks to my brother became the official photographer for the day and gave me a DVD with 414 photos as I left the celebrations!
The happy couple are now enjoying a couple of days by the seaside thanks to her bonus for being with the bank for ten years!
Congratulations Mr and Mrs Stagg may you have many happy years together. God Bless you both.

nine months

2011-08-23T16:17:00.000+01:00

There is a series on the tele about our first nine months of life spent in the womb and the impact it has on our later life. This is something that I have been aware of for many years especially when there is discussion over nature v. nurture - what about the nine months in between?
I know that I am one of those fortunate people to have been born after the second world war - born any earlier and I would not have lived so long - most probably dying as a child. Thank you to those who found penicillin!
The most recent programme looks at how low birthweight can lead to diabetes and heart disease, rather than being obese! Such a relief when even the diabetic association talks about diets for type 2 diabetics!
I was not a premature baby - quite the opposite! I was due on 11th January but my birthday is 4th March! Only one nurse believed my Mum that she was very overdue, saying that I had been wasting away in the womb - I was 5lb something at birth; my Grandpop describing me as a skinned rabbit!
And yes, I was diagnosed as a type 2 diabetic in my early 40's, have high cholesterol and now my blood pressure is playing up, while I am not obese and my weight has been pretty stable for the last few decades.
I put my diabetes down to stress, but now it seems it is just one of those things!

a blue moon

2011-08-22T15:17:00.000+01:00

Since I was old enough to tidy my bedroom I have had an aversion to housework. For the first twenty five years of married life, there was always some major work being carried out on the house so that lack of housework was never noticed except when mother-in-law came to stay and having been in the house for no longer than ten minutes asked if she may have a duster - but I didn't have any clean dusters!
I have delivered Mandie's wedding dress, my outfit is complete, yesterday's service is behind me and I have three spare days with nothing that I have to do - a rarity!
So this morning, I have loaded the washing machine five times - a big thank you to whoever invented automatic washing machines, cleaned down the worktops and the kettle and then washed and polished the car! This afternoon it is feet up with knitting of a blanket for the expected grandboy. I may not like housework, but the place looks good. I wonder what tomorrow holds and if there will be another blue moon!

catching up

2011-08-14T17:03:00.000+01:00

It's a while since I've been here, it is not that nothing has happened more a case of too much happening!
I've been putting the finishing touches to Mandie's wedding dress to be delivered this week, finishing my own outfit, knitting baby clothes for the eldest son's expected, decorating the bathroom as well as taking Sunday services, a funeral service and a service of prayer for healing this afternoon. I do love variety!
While we were on holiday - wow it is over a month ago - I read 'The Horse Boy' ready for our next meeting of the book club. It followed the travels of an autistic boy with his parents to Mongolia in search of healing. The shamans dressed up and made quite a drama often eating and drinking weird concoctions with the parents as well as the boy!
This was in great contrast to the sessions I had with my friend Gretchen who has the gift of healing with gentle touch; sometimes this was done in silence whist at other times we chatted, putting the world to rights with laughter!
In our service today, there were times when we prayed out loud mentioning those who had asked for our prayers, and then with soft music playing, folk would come forward for prayer for themselves or those to whom they were close while others prayed silently.

Next week I go to croydon to deliver Mandie's dress. It was only a few weeks ago that I drove around Reeves Corner, surprised that the furniture shop was still there; an independent store is rare these days - I remembered it from my childhood - a beautiful building, very old and in stark contrast to the concrete skyscrapers in Croydon. Prayers were said for all those involved in the aftermath of the riots.

on the edge?

2011-07-29T22:45:00.000+01:00

For many years I have lived on the edge of towns or villages and it has suited me well. I remember, many, many years ago doing an 'Introduction to Counselling' course with about twenty others and one of our exercises was to stand in a hall where we felt comfortable. My friend stood at the front facing the rest of us - well, she was the minister! while I stood towards the back, at the edge, near a door - for a quick escape!
And now we are living in the middle of an estate; we tried to buy a house on the edge, but it was this house, bang in the middle that we eventually bought, and in church I'm the one out the front facing everyone else!
This week has been quite hectic with a 'Village Women' meeting, a 'Coffee Morning' lunch and a 'Book Club' get together and at those gatherings, I'm still very happy to be sitting at the edge, listening to the conversations. It is the first time that I have attended so many social events and I considered it to be part of my role as minister to go and hopefully break down some of the barriers to church going. When the 'Coffee Morning' goes out to lunch in the local pub or hotel, I am asked to say grace and always give thanks for the fact that someone else is going to do the washing up! Hopefully folk will realise that church too, is relevant to their lives, and far from being dull and dreary is quite good fun with lots of laughs.

small churches

2011-07-27T10:50:00.000+01:00

We had our annual church meeting last Saturday morning; our only church meeting in the year. It was like that when I became the minister and I see no reason to change it. The meeting started with coffee and home-made biscuits and lasted just over the hour! such a change from churches I have been part of in the past where the monthly meeting would go on far past my bedtime!
Questions were asked about the donation to the local 'Churches Together' in our local town which is six miles away - we really feel out of it and don't seem to have much in common with the larger in-town churches.
Meanwhile, we are part of a Rural Churches Group and hold joint services and celebrations and swap pulpits throughout the year.
Each Tuesday evening one very small (numerically) chapel is hosting the Baptist Union six week course for small churches. We start with tea and coffee with home-made cakes! and so far (just two weeks in) it has been an excellent opportunity to recognise the benefits of being a small church as well as trying to see the needs of the locality.
Small churches in a town can be very different to those in rural areas. The little chapel last night is in farm land where the local population has shrunk to about 10% of what it was a hundred years ago - farming then was labour intensive.
There may not be the people around locally who have needs which the chapel can try to fulfill but holding the course stimulates those from the other chapels who may be able to help folk in their villages.
I believe that God brings together certain people at certain times to do certain jobs. And we have to be open ready for change and upheaval - not easy but I also believe that God gives us everything we need to carry out his work.

not what was expected

2011-07-18T15:16:00.000+01:00

I was recently treated to a new bike with much lower gears to enable me to cycle up hills instead of getting off. A cycle rack was purchased and off we went on holiday with bikes.
We had planned a few days in the Lakes so that we could visit our friend who has the gift of healing by gentle touch. In March, my session with her brought a wonderful stillness to my body so I was hoping that several sessions would make a lasting improvement.
On our first morning, we got on our bikes but I managed to throw myself off after only 20 minutes and landed on my knee - so in my three sessions with Gretchen she concentrated on my knee and other bits of my body that had been shaken.

We went to North Wales for the second half of our holidays and had booked into a farm. Unfortunately, the web-site made no mention of the fact that they also ran boarding kennels and we were greeted by barking dogs and we like a quiet life! And as they also had dogs in the house we were also greeted by the smell of dogs as we entered and I started wheezing. We made a hasty exit and then started to look for other accommodation and ended up in a seaside hotel.
We had never had a seaside holiday before having always headed for the hills, but we enjoyed the coastal walk, a cycle ride, fish and chips on the beach, eating ice creams and 'people watching' from the rocks.
The weather was sunny which had not been forecast and we enjoyed our unexpected holiday.

new members

2011-07-03T15:19:00.000+01:00

Of the four ladies who play the organ, only one is a member. However, last month our '1st Sunday in the month' organist, who first came to the chapel as a babe in arms asked to become a member. She said that she had missed out as a teenager as she was so shy and hated being the centre of attraction so had never been baptised.
Although when I was on the Baptist Union Council, I could see no reason why anyone wanting to become a member should not be baptised first, I now realise that there are many reason why some people would love to become members without baptism first.
I checked the chapel's deeds and it seems that we are an open membership even though a hundred years ago there was a split over this, with many just assuming that we were a closed membership.
I then approached another shy lady who moved into the area a year ago and asked her if she would like to become a member. She too, thought that she would have to be baptised first, and was delighted to have been asked.
The following morning at our deacon's meeting they were delighted to hear that we would be having two new members. We then discussed the fact that it would be good to have some new deacons and one name kept coming up but it was some time before someone realised that she was not a member although she had been coming to Chapel for nearly thirty years, was a Sunday School teacher and at one time had run the youth club. So G. was duly asked if she too would like to become a member.
Having already prepared the sermon, I decided to omit it and instead encouraged the three ladies to say a little about themselves. All three said how nervous and scared they were but gave brilliant testimonies of their gentle, steady walk with God. None had had an overwhelming conversion experience but their faiths had grown over the years. Favourite hymns were sung and relevant Bible passages were read, concluding with communion and carried over into coffee and biscuits.
Feedback says that it was a wonderful service especially as two of the ladies have been worshipping here far longer than most of the other members!

normal service is resumed

2011-06-27T09:25:00.000+01:00

Yesterday as I walked into chapel, the organist, who was practising the hymns we were going to sing, started playing 'You shall go out with joy', and without thinking I started dancing. The immediate comment was "You're better!"
Having been off the pills for several days, I now realise how much they had affected me and zonked me out, so that I missed the Singing Festival and only went to the Book Club BBQ for an hour so that I didn't have a late night. But I'm so pleased that I will be able to really enjoy the Village Women's day out tomorrow even though I am shaking slightly more than I have been while on the pills.
Our preacher yesterday should have been our local Deacon from the 'Church up the road', but there had been a mix up over his dates, and in the absence, due to holidays, of our secretary and the couple who usually stand in when there is an 'empty' Sunday, it was decided that another couple and the organist would arrange a DIY service as I really was not up to stepping into the breach!
It was the first DIY service I had been to as they usually happen when I am away - and I thought it was brilliant!
It was led by our retired farmer deacon who has a wonderful gift of praying; covering all aspects with no repetition!
Various folk were asked to choose readings and our retired matron told us how District Nurses came into being; to celebrate Queen Victoria's Diamond Jubilee, women raised the necessary money. She quoted from St Paul in the Authorised Version "And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." She made us think; will the women of the country do something similar for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee next year? The cynical me thinks not because the role of women has changed so much during the last century but hopes that something could be done to mark the occasion.
And in the afternoon I went to a little URC chapel in the middle of nowhere to take their service. I love driving but don't like the twisty lanes with high hedges where the locals drive too fast for my liking, not expecting me to be coming the other way!

my Mum

2011-06-21T09:21:00.000+01:00

Yesterday would have been my Mum's birthday and two years ago, just a few weeks after she died we held a celebratory strawberry tea at the care home where she had lived for the previous five years.
She loved strawberries and revelled in the fact that they were in the greengrocer's shops just in time for her birthday! She also loved Wimbledon and managed to get there one year as a birthday treat. The love of watching tennis is about the only thing that I have not inherited from her! But then tennis has changed since my parents got their first television.
Apparently I have always looked like her, which I never noticed until recently when I realised that my jaw line is drooping just like hers. And I got type two diabetes just like her, although she was in her sixties and had a very sweet tooth while I was only just into my forties but had had a stressful few years (a cause which is rarely mentioned).
And I shake just like her! She was very pleased to take her doctor's advice and have a sherry before lunch! But I had to explain to my doctor that having a sherry before going into the pulpit was not a very good idea and even worse when I have to drive to outlying rural chapels!
I have tried various pills; the first made my asthma worse, the second sent me to sleep all day and then I had a skin reaction! I'm on yet another which after five weeks, I'm still shaking and now finding that I fall asleep in the afternoon and don't want to go out in the evening. Even friends are noticing that I'm very quiet - just not my usual self. Do I need a holiday? I am going away in two weeks time or is it the pills? Time to visit the doctor again!

tiny and huge

2011-06-13T10:41:00.001+01:00

Yesterday was one of the Sundays that I don't take the service in our chapel, for which I was quite relieved as I felt quite tired after yet another trip to London and also to Brighton - all most enjoyable but exhausting!
But in the afternoon I drove up the Llanthony valley, which is beautiful if you can see it but the rain was tipping down and the huge 4by4s coming the other way seemed to think they own the lane - not a very enjoyable drive this time!
The congregation at the little chapel consisted of the organist who worships in town in the morning, two others - one of which usually worships at our chapel and myself. Fortunately, I have been re-assured by one of them that if a sermon is worth hearing, it is worth hearing again! I hope he thinks that it was worth hearing twice! (with two years inbetween!)
In the evening it was back to our chapel where folk come from all the surrounding chapels and churches to rehearse for next week's annual Singing Festival. Our choir is now over 50 strong and the sound was wonderful - however, next week we will be up the road in the church so that there will be room for a congregation as well.
All the music is out of copyright but we have got permission to use John Bell's and Graham Maule's words of 'The Love of God comes close' which seems to be in complete contrast to 'All in the April Evening', which has got stuck in my head!

confused? - you won't be!

2011-06-07T16:41:00.000+01:00

This was the catch phrase of one of my all time favourite TV programmes back in the late 70s and early 80s; 'Soap'! And as I have grown older, I feel as if my life is becoming like that programme!
In readiness for Mandie's wedding, tomorrow I am going to meet some of Dave's family. Dave is ten years older than Mandie and has son by a previous relationship. The son is now in his twenties and with his girlfriend is expecting a child.
So in August when Mandie and Dave marry, she will immediately become a step Mum and I will acquire another Grandson. Then a month later Mandie will become a Grandma at thirty, which in turn means that I am going to be a Great Granny!

procrastinating

2011-06-06T09:30:00.000+01:00

this is usually thought of in a negative sense; as being lazy. But over the years, I see this as being an excellent thing to do!
Since yesterday afternoon, some very expensive material has been laid out on my study floor. And now I am blogging (procrastinating again) just to make sure that I have not made any silly mistake that might just pop into my mind before I put scissors to said fabric!
When we went shopping for her wedding dress fabric, my daughter (and I) fell in love with what was most probably the most expensive fabric in the shop, but as she is very slim, and not much fabric was needed it was bought!
Many years ago, at the height of my wedding dress making, I had a purpose built, high and very long table on which to cut out, having worn out my left knee on many pairs of jeans and developed thick skin on the top of my left foot! All caused by kneeling on one knee. As I only occasionally sew these days it is back to the floor, like most dressmakers!

Right... it is nearly time to start cutting - but it is not quite as scary as when I was told that the fabric I had been given to make a wedding dress was so priceless that the givers of the fabric, friends of her parents, had asked for it back. It was beautiful - pure ivory silk interwoven with pure gold threads! I wish they had told me after I had cut it out and not just as I was raising my scissors!

why did I say yes?

2011-05-31T12:09:00.000+01:00

My preaching engagements at our chapel are booked for the year in the previous September. Last year I offered to take the services on the 1st, 3rd and 5th Sundays in the month but it took me a while to realise that a fifth Sunday is followed by a 1st, which didn't give me much time to enjoy being retired, walking the hills or sewing.
So this year I cut it down to the 1st and 3rd Sundays but then felt guilty about being away at Assembly so opted to take the 5th Sunday in May.
So yesterday I felt unable to go to another Chapel's coffee morning with plant and cake sale as I wanted to make a start on next Sunday's service.
This afternoon we have our monthly 'Village Women' which I now find I will have to miss as I have to go to Newport and tonight we have our regular Book Club and I offered to host - so I have had to go shopping for real milk and posh biscuits and clean downstairs!
Tomorrow I hope to get the bulk of my sermon done as on Thursday I go to Croydon to meet my daughter to fit her wedding dress and then on to Spurgeon's ready for Friday's monthly course on Continuing Development in Ministry.
As it is the annual College Conference the following Thursday, I shall delay my regular visit to the Grandboys this week and drive back to Wales on Friday afternoon - a bad time but hopefully a large number of folk will still be on leave for the half-tern holiday.
Gosh, it takes years to learn to say "NO"!

39 years ago

2011-05-28T09:39:00.000+01:00

he was late! by then 11days late and still he wouldn't budge!
So he will be celebrating his last birthday in his thirties tomorrow. Apparently while I was left in hospital with the little ginger haired man, friends were celebrating with brandy at 7am!
Unfortunately due to preaching engagements being booked last September I won't be at the barbecue to join in the celebrations but I'll make sure I'm free next year!
So from South Wales I shall toast the rather taller ginger haired man with a glass of brandy.
Mark and his lovely Katie on their wedding day Dec 09; are now with bump! Congratulations!
Happy Birthday Mark

prayer for healing

2011-05-18T10:04:00.000+01:00

Since being called to be the minister of our lovely chapel in beautiful surroundings, I have been trying to discern why I have been brought here and what we can offer to others around us, especially as the usual things such as coffee mornings, mother and toddler groups, youth club etc. are all going on at the village hall.
But one thought kept coming into my head and with the help of the pastoral minister at a church over the border, it was decided that we should have a healing service. Ironically it was a bug going the rounds that prevented me from writing about the forthcoming event last week!
My first experience of prayer for healing was at one of the first Alpha courses at Holy Trinity Brompton in the late eighties and I took my first healing service with a fellow student while still at college, then gained more experience at the healing services at the Baptist Assembly.
The last few weeks have been busy with the Assembly and my monthly visit to college for the course in 'Continuing Development in Ministry' including visits to my kiddies and grandboys. But my friend who accompanied me to Assembly agreed to help me with the morning service where we gave them a taste of what we had experienced at Assembly, including Bible readings and hymns and songs sung, along with photographs taken from the Assembly website. This made it a little easier to prepare for the healing service in the afternoon.

I have a huge aversion to the healing services I have seen from America, re-inforced by Darren Brown's recent TV programme.
Ours was to be a very quiet service of prayer for healing. Although we have a radio mike, loudspeakers and a loop system that is our usual extent of technology but I was able to link up my ipod into the system to have continuous soft quiet music playing while we were praying for others.
We are fortunate to be part of a Baptist Rural Church Cluster and folk came from the surrounding chapels as well as from the Anglican Church.
Before the service we thought it might be something that we would run twice a year but the response was so encouraging not only from those who came but also from others who were not able to attend this time, that we are planning our next in three months time!

it's a small world

2011-05-10T12:18:00.000+01:00

I had an extended stay in Brighton this last weekend, I'm not usually there on a Sunday so decided to worship at one of the Baptist churches. I used my new BU handbook to discern which church to visit as I keep forgetting that many Baptist churches have web sites!
The secretary at one of the churches had an email address, so I contacted them to ask for times of the services. I got a very prompt reply, including an approximate finishing time with a welcome to stay for coffee afterwards.
My welcome was excellent; I was taken and introduced to the secretary, who then introduced me to the minister. The church was buzzing with folk of all ages.
I had only just sat down when a young lady sat behind me, said hello and introduced herself. In just a few minutes we had exchanged a lot of detail about ourselves and I asked if she had a card. As we swapped cards, the service started and I recognised her surname. In a pause between the prayers and singing I turned round and said "Is your Mum, Michelle?", "Yes" she said, "Lancaster?" I replied, she nodded!
This lovely lady has worked with one of my fellow batch at Spring Harvest as well as being the daughter of a delightful lady who I met when living north of Lancaster, with whom I also had two other connections as we were both members of the 'Arts Centre Group' and 'Men Women and God'.
The service was excellent, with drama, a clip from 'you tube', discussions with those around us and good biblical teaching. I look forward to another Sunday in Brighton!

Lord of Sea and Sky

2011-05-03T11:01:00.000+01:00

Monday morning at the Assembly was the equivalent of double maths in school and Hebrew lectures at college. After the highs of the weekend, we were faced with the dodging of tax by the multi-national companies; difficult to understand even though it was put over so well!
During the final session of praise and worship, I stopped singing and let the music and voices wash over me which reminded me of when I was first called to the ministry and would go to Holy Trinity, Brompton on Sunday evenings. As I wrestled with my call, there were times when I just stood and prayed, enjoying the worship of others.
This is what happened physically yesterday morning, while spiritually God was taking me back to the beginning, then to the here and now, putting a closure on the struggle I have had over the years. God was showing me that this is the end of the struggle. I am where he wants me to be.
A few weeks after my calling in 1989, I went to Greenbelt where I sang 'I the Lord of Sea and Sky' for the very first time. And as if the band knew the very special place that hymn has in my heart, they started playing but I couldn't sing! the tears were welling up.
It was as if God was tying up all the loose ends and then making a huge bow!

All this time my friend and I were sitting behind the small group from my calling church, another God-incidence that they would also head for the far side of the auditorium, not even seeing that we were already sitting in the row behind. We were able to pray for each other and as Assembly closed we swapped email addresses and talked about arranging a date for me to go back to their church one Sunday next year. We made the most of each other's company in the few remaining minutes before hugging and saying our fond farewells.

Lord of the Dance

2011-05-02T07:41:00.000+01:00

Once again I’m writing this in my room as I try to settle before putting my head on the pillow and will post it in the morning.

In some ways I feel quite numb - its over - the culmination of twenty three years and over a year since my preaching skills were recognised but too late for last year’s assembly.

As I received my handshake, I was quite oblivious to any cheering and then I made a beeline for my friend, with her family, who had come for the evening as I knew they would be making a quick getaway.

My only complaint of the evening was that the music was so loud that I could not hear the prayers that were being said for me - please quieten the music!

Although I was stuck in the middle of the row, friends clambered over seats to reach me while the very special lady who had come for the first time because someone else was not able to come, managed to squeeze along the row and was suddenly beside me - we were both trying to fight the tears while hugging each other, amazed at the way God works it all out!

And as the praying finished we sang again, and for the first time in many, many years we sang ‘Lord of the Dance’. If I hadn’t been stuck in the middle of the row, I would have kicked off my shoes and danced; as it was I jiggled about a bit! Such an apt hymn for me with my background in dance, hence the title of my blog.

It was a wonderful evening where I felt God’s hand holding me with the reassurance that I am in the right place where He wants me to be, while being surrounded by such good friends - old and new.

and it gets better

2011-05-01T08:02:00.000+01:00

Saturday at Assembly has been a day full of meeting friends from my past, people who I never expected to see at Assembly. One lady looked familiar across a couple of tables and I could see that she was looking at me, vaguely recognising me but unable to place the face. And then I clicked, I had met her when looking after a church in the Lake District during the summer holidays when I was a student. When the realisation dawned we greeted each other with huge hugs.

And then there were more friends from my first calling church who I knew from the days when our children were little but are now in their thirties, married with children of their own. They told me of more folk who were here who I had not seen for nearly twenty years. It has to be noted that one can be at Assembly and never meet friends who you know are also at Assembly.

So knowing that they were here was special and then as I left the main area in the evening I saw them. More hugs!

For one lady, this is her very first Assembly but her presence is very special to me as she supported me through college. They wondered if they might see me but had no idea that I would be getting my hand shake tomorrow evening.

And there is more... as I made my way through the crowds to go to bed, sitting chatting was one of my referees, an incredibly busy lady who started her high profile ministry as Assistant Minister at the church where I spent twenty years as a pastoral group leader, youth leader, Girl’s Brigade Officer and deacon. I had heard rumours that she had been seen at Assembly so to have the chance of a quick chat before she sped off again was very precious.

I came here knowing that my friend from chapel would be supporting me and that a dear friend is coming across the country just for the evening while many friends would be praying for me and thinking of me from their homes. But now I know that there will be many friends at the service tomorrow who have been with me on some part of my journey over the last twenty three years.

a very good start

2011-04-30T08:01:00.002+01:00

I’m writing this late Friday evening in my room, but as I do not have wifi up here I will not be able to post it until I get downstairs in the reception area of the Assembly tomorrow morning.

I’ve already met many friends from college days which is always enjoyable and the opening evening meeting was excellent. I don’t mind learning new songs during the Assembly but I do like old favourites on the first evening and the worship was a good mixture of well known hymns and songs with Bible readings and the Lord’s prayer presented in new and challenging ways, and I always find Pat Took an inspirational speaker.

But the highlight of the day for me was during the Prayer Meeting this afternoon. The chairs were already arranged so that we were sitting in groups. After a time of prayer, praising God and remembering past Assemblies, each group was told to pray for different aspects of the Assembly, one for the children’s work, one for BMS, one for our home churches etc. with the last group being told that they could pray for whatever they wanted. After five minutes we had to move to the next group in a clockwise direction.

Being someone who does not like being told what to do and especially what to pray for, at the first move, I went anti-clockwise to be in the ‘whatever you want’ group.

I felt led to pray for a blogging friend who has not been able to come to Assembly this year, using just her christian name. At the end of our five minutes the woman next to me asked if the friend I had mentioned had a blog as she too was an avid reader.

We both decided, that as she too, had skipped to groups to pray how the spirit led us, we would leave the groups and sit together in a corner to quietly talk. A new friend has been made and I love it when God brings two people together!

Blackpool, here we come!

2011-04-28T16:37:00.000+01:00

This will be my tenth BU Assembly and the first where I will be going with someone else and I'm really looking forward to the journey there and back along with having the company once we arrive. Yes, there are always friends from college and previous churches to talk to, but so much nicer to have a friend to sit with in the huge arena.
This is the first time that our chapel has sent a delegate (I have been there in my own right as a Council member and then minister) and she will be there to represent the Chapel when I have my hand shaken on the Sunday evening.
It still seems strange that although I was quite certain of my calling, I did question God about being a minister rather than a spiritual director as I had little preaching experience before going to college although I have always been aware that my experience as a counsellor, mother and business woman gave me a huge range of pastoral experience. And here are the BU recognising my preaching ability. As the years have gone by, although I still offer myself as a spiritual director, I am now a minister and God did get his way!

Grandma, have you got a road?

2011-04-19T15:57:00.000+01:00

Last summer, when Grandboy number one came to visit us with his Mummy and Daddy, he asked me to give him a guided tour around the house as we were not living here when he last visited us. Downstairs was done very quickly so we went upstairs and having looked into the second bedroom, I realised that as a three year old he wasn't interested in the decor but was actually looking for something ... and then came the question; "Grandma, have you got a road?" Fortunately I guessed very quickly what he was on about; he had just received a new small car and needed a road to play with it. I had to apologise and admit that I didn't have a road.
His Mummy and Daddy had made him a huge road painted on two pieces of wood, complete with parking places, a park with flowers, sandpit and seaside, which seems to cover all the spare space in their living room, but can be leant against the wall once play is over.
Earlier this year when visiting a friend who is a wonder at patchwork and quilting, we went to her favourite shop and I was tempted by a simple patchwork playmat/road.
In between preparing Sunday services, I have enjoyed sewing a road which is now ready complete with bag for playmat and cars.

Just in time for his next visit!

clothes

2011-04-11T10:13:00.000+01:00

Following on from my last post, the one thing that was picked up from my paper was to encouraged those who have a national costume, to wear it on stage at the Assembly.
Craig was more than happy as he seems to like to wear his Irish kilt with all the gear whenever he can. Kumar was a bit more reluctant, and asked a couple of friends to escort him from their hotel to the conference centre in Brighton but he looked stunning in his Asian grey frockcoat (not sure of the correct term).
We tend to think of clothes of being what we wear to keep warm, but we say so much about ourselves by not only the style we wear, but also the colour, the pattern, the size of stripes and even the size of the dots on a tie! And not only do we choose those things unconsciously but others seeing our clothes will unconsciously read our clothes! Which is why when it is a special occasion, such as others recognising our position within the church and the years of study with numerous interviews that it has taken to get there, it seems a shame that some dress so casually as if it is nothing special.
My party trick is to read peoples personalities by the clothes they are wearing. I did this at a Christmas party at college where one of the rather staid tutors was dressed down wearing a black jumper. I told him that it showed that he had a bohemian or James Dean streak - fortunately he rather liked that even with all the laughs!
Please note: I only do this when asked, I usually don't notice what others are wearing unless it is an awful blunder!

blogging

2011-04-10T19:37:00.000+01:00

This afternoon I sat down to write on my blog.
I had nearly finished when I pressed the wrong button and it all disappeared. So I rewrote it, pressed the publish post button and it all disappeared - not my fault this time but I didn't have it in me to write it all again.
So I thought about what I was going to wear in three weeks time when I get my hand shaken at the Baptist Assembly and this had to have some serious thinking!
A few years back I was on the committee that planned the Assembly and with my background in fashion I wrote a paper on the dos and don'ts on what to wear on stage - there were already some rules about not wearing black (you will disappear) or white (too bright for the big screen) but the paper was thought to be not relevant and so we still have some fashion faux-pas. People do not check what they look like from behind or the side and a favourite tie is worn which doesn't work from the stage or on the big screen. Rant over.
But my favourite skirt was getting rather tight, but the seams were large from where I had taken it in many years ago so there was plenty to let out! Skirt now fits, jumper chosen - one I knitted four years ago - who needs new clothes!

a special time

2011-04-01T09:13:00.002+01:00

As promised in my last post, having arrived back home, done the washing, prepared Sunday's service and driven to College, visiting friends on the way, I will write more about my friend in Cumbria who has the gift of healing.
We had been to see her many times over the years but I had never had a session with her. I think of myself as being in good health although compared to others, there are several things which could be better, so I made an appointment.
Gretchen describes the healing as being through gentle touch. The session took place in a light airy room in a beautiful Victorian former Vicarage. I laid on a treatment bed (a little higher and narrower than a single bed) and Gretchen sat by my side on an office chair with wheels. She held my hand gently and we continued our conversation about how I re-met my childhood sweetheart who is now my husband. She moved to my feet, which were cold as usual but her hands were lovely and warm. As she moved to my other side our conversation had moved on to the role of women, especially in the church. It was lovely to realise that we both 'danced on the edge'. Gretchen then moved round to my head, gently massaging and holding it.
This had taken about 50 minutes with only short periods of good silence. She then told me that she would leave me for about ten minutes. During this time I was totally relaxed, not moving a muscle, enjoying the sensation of the stillness and peace. This was wonderful for me as many of my friends know that I have a benign tremor which is annoying more than anything else, but here I was still!
I have had similar experiences over the years through contemplative prayer during which I know healing took place but this session was far deeper.
After the ten minutes, Gretchen came back into the room and I very carefully got off the bed not wanting to do anything to alter the stillness of my my body.
We went out to lunch afterwards and for the first time in many years, I managed to eat peas without them flying off my fork. Instead of spraying them over the table they went straight into my mouth.
It is advised to have several sessions and to take great note of what one's body is telling you after the session. Unfortunately there was only time for one session before leaving Cumbria and I wasn't able to lie down in the afternoon as my body would have liked.
But next time......
And if you would like to know more http://cccare.org/

our day out

2011-03-24T17:00:00.002Z

We are on holiday in the Lake District for the first time since we moved away more than seven years ago. It has given us the opportunity to visit a friend, who has a gift of healing, who I met fifteen years ago when she was one of the speakers at a day's teach-in on Contemplative Prayer/ Christian Meditation. But more of her on a future blog.
Today after our earlier appointment, we made use of the longer day and having decided to walk up Muncaster Fell, we ordered packed lunches at the guest house in which we are staying.
The weather was glorious; the sun was out and there was a cloudless blue sky with a haze in the distance and it was difficult to realise that it was still March.
The first part of our walk was up a long straight bridle path, where we saw a buzzard and then a goshawk (or was it a Marsh Harrier?) flying quite low. The path then curved around a tarn where we stopped to take on extra fuel; a flapjack for me and a sandwich for him. As we sat just a foot away from the edge of the tarn we noticed frogs under the water, sunbathing on the bottom. At the far side were mallards with their brilliant green iridescent heads and although it looked peaceful the silence was broken by geese which made such a racket; we assumed there was some squabbling among the males as to which was going to get the female!
We continued on our walk to the trig point where we tried to name the tops of all the fells to our right while noticing Sellafield on the shoreline to our left!
We found a sheltered spot to eat the remainder of our lunches and enjoyed a musical entertainment from a skylark - beautiful!
We then treked on a little further as he wanted to see a Victorian table that he had read about. It looks like something from Stonehenge but was built for some Gentleman's picnic! It was difficult getting there as we could see no footpath and then we were confronted by a bog, which we crossed by stepping onto the Grandma Giles shaped tufts of dried grass, and taking a different path back we had to cross a narrower but deeper bog by leaping from stone to stone - great fun and our feet were still dry when we got back.

women in leadership

2011-03-11T14:57:00.000Z

For many years I was a member of 'Men Women and God'(MWG); the British equivalent of 'Christians for Biblical Equality', and so was aware of the many books written on the 'difficult' passages in the Bible. I attended some good MWG conferences with excellent speakers including I. Howard Marshall and was on their planning committee until my call to minister here in Wales.
So I was interested to read a recommendation on a friend's blog of, 'How I changed my mind about Women in Leadership - Compelling Stories from Prominent Evangelicals', where I. Howard Marshall is one of the twenty-one contributors.
And then on Wednesday morning there was an excellent interview on radio 4's Today with one of the clergy who is in the process during Lent to 'walk' from the Anglican Church to the Catholic Church because he believes that women should not become bishops. The interviewer, who I think was Justin Webb, questioned the Vicar as to whether what he was doing was right as Jesus preached love (or words to that effect) and I cheered from the shower!
Of the personal stories I have read so far in the book, many contributors came to a point in their lives where they realised that they had to go to scripture to see what it actually said rather than listening to what others said about the role of women! Whereas, I. Howard Marshall said; "my experience of working with godly women in ministry, teaching, and leadership has been ample confirmation that to exclude them from these roles is indefensible". Women need men like I. Howard Marshall so that we can become the people God called us to be!

books

2011-03-08T16:04:00.000Z

I was never into books as a child; life was far more exciting - climbing trees and playing cowboys and indians in the woodland at the bottom of our road with the two boys who lived a few houses away from mine!
And so it wasn't until I was in my thirties that I started reading books, especially non-fiction when I trained to be a counsellor. But I was also encouraged to read novels by one of our lodgers. I think I jumped in at the deep end by starting with John Fowles' 'The Magus'!
When I felt called to the ministry I started devouring books and so my collection of books grew to a wall full and that was just in my study! There were full bookcases all over our house.
When we were preparing for our move to Wales, we thought we would be down-sizing and took many books to a second-hand book shop in Brighton, who bought many of them because they had beautiful covers - it didn't seem to matter what was on the inside! What we didn't sell we took to the local charity book shop and the theological ones - several boxes full, went to the church we were leaving.
Having been in Wales a couple of years we found a house just as large and having been called to be minister, the bookcases have been filled once again! But I was aware that my breadth of reading was not very wide and to encourage myself, and meet and get to know more folk in the village, I joined the book club.
Yesterday we discussed our latest read of 'Shutter Island', which has been made into a film, starring Leonardo DiCaprio which some of our group had also seen this week on TV. Apparently, if you have not read the book the film is difficult to follow, but it is quite true to the original story.
We had an interesting discussion about mental health, especially as one of our group had worked in a psychiatric hospital.
Our next read is 'The Clan of the Cave Bear', which some of the group read many years ago but seems to be one of those books that can be re-read.
We are having a holiday shortly so that will be my holiday read!

birthdays

2011-03-06T15:44:00.000Z

We talk about milestone birthdays and think of 18, 30,40, 50 etc. but for me other birthdays have been important. I'm old enough to have had a 21st celebration, before 18 was the coming of age. But 35 hit me hard - I had had half of my three score years and ten which felt quite scary! But this year it is worse!
I was 20, when 'Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band' was released, working for C&As in their head office in Oxford Street and wearing very short skirts! it was the age of the mini-skirt and in '67 they were still getting shorter!
And so as I approached my birthday this year the words of one of the tracks kept going around my head. And yes, he is very handy mending a fuse and I often sit by the fireside knitting a sweater or two. We don't go to the Isle of Wight for our holidays, but I can be found with grandchildren on my knee. And if you are very confused you can look up the lyrics of 'When I'm 64'!
At twenty, sixty-four seemed very old, but now I have got here it is so different. I still feel twenty-five inside and when I'm with certain friends I can behave much younger. But I do like to remember my age, so at fifty I stopped wearing knee length skirts and at sixty, stopped wearing jeans. However, this does make buying suitable clothes quite difficult as I still like to look my best and not old and dowdy.
If fashion trends go the way they should, with the lack of money in people's purses, skirt lengths should drop and I will be happy!

celebration

2011-02-24T15:14:00.001Z

It took several months in the planning and much excitement as the daughters of very old (time - not too much age!) and dear friends of mine, arranged a surprise 'party' for their parents' Ruby (40 years) Wedding Anniversary.
There was to be a church service with tea and cakes afterwards with everyone from the church invited - he is the church secretary and she heads up the pastoral team. And although his address was deleted from the email, hers wasn't - so they knew that something was happening.
What they didn't know when they arrived at the church, decorated with red balloons, was that their two bridesmaids and best man would be in the congregation, all wearing something red.
Old photographs had been obtained from Aunts and Uncles and I found one of us all at the Young People's Fellowship Easter Retreat back in 1965, which was duly scanned and shown to all. Photos included her as a fairy aged about eight, as a new parents, and with a very fashionable eighties perm - yuk!
We sang 'Now thank we all our God' which was sung at their wedding, and because he complained that they never sang what he thought was the most applicable hymn way back then, this time we did sing 'Fight the fight'! He has a very cheeky sense of humour!
So although they knew something had been arranged at the church in the afternoon, they were totally unaware of a planned meal out at one of their favourite restaurants with about thirty of their friends in the evening.
I added a day to my stay and was able to enjoy a morning with my friend of 48 years and it was just like being teenagers again!
May they have many more happy years together.

way back when...

2011-02-18T09:36:00.000Z

I was a young housewife and cheese cost three shillings a pound - yes 15p! And my weekly shop cost me five pounds for the two of us, I quickly discovered that the products I saw advertised cost a lot more than those which were not and deduced that I was paying for the advertising as well as the product. So I have never bought the washing up liquid that would make my hands as soft as my face, especially as I have to wear rubber gloves anyway!
And now I see that we are soon to have 'product placing' in our television shows as well as in the breaks. As many of the programs I like are broadcast after I start to get ready for bed, most of the programs I watch are recorded and so I can fast forward the adverts. And it is because of people like me, who don't watch the adverts, that have forced the advertisers to fight for product placement. So I apologise to the 'powers that be' for not watching the adverts but I am so cynical I wouldn't buy the product anyway!

mandie

2011-02-15T11:13:00.004Z

Following on from my last post, my exciting news is that Mandie's boyfriend of the last nine years proposed to her last Saturday, complete with ring!
This was not exactly new news as they had both talked to me about getting married at sometime in the future and as they both came from what is referred to as broken homes, they wanted to both feel stable before they signed on the dotted line. And for Mandie, that meant tracing her biological mother.
As my business before going to Spurgeon's college was making wedding dresses, Mandie grew up surrounded by silk, satin, tulle (fine net) and lots of twinkly beads, and at thirty she has waited a long time for her dream dress!
Well that is my news but I'm going to write more about Mandie, so if you wish to know about the trials and tribulations of adoption - read on.

Back in the 1960s, the hot topic was the population explosion, like climate control is today. So before we married we agreed that we would have two children to replace ourselves and then foster and adopt as the fancy took us. Having had two boys, I was still feeling broody and so I fostered new born babies until they were adopted and we also fostered a toddler. As the boys were growing up we wanted to permanently expand our family and so we looked to adopt. By then I had lost the broody feeling so we were quite happy to have an older child but I did want a girl. The boys were ten and nine when Mandie, aged two, came to live with us. It had taken us two years to go through the adoptive process, with lots of interviews and police checks.
As I was often seen around town with different babies, wheeling Mandie around was not unusual but as folk asked about her, I explained that Mandie was adopted, so she grew up with that knowledge.
Her brothers were very good with her and even as teenagers they allowed her into their rooms when their friends were around. When one friend told her that she didn't look like either of her brothers she very proudly told them, "Well of course not, I'm adopted!"

But I found her extremely difficult. Looking back with that wonderful gift of hindsight and a counselling training, I think that she was trying to see how naughty she had to be before this mother would give her away. In recent years we have discussed this and she agrees!
I felt that I had to give Mandie firm boundaries but I just became the bad cop while her Dad became the good cop. And eventually, the gulf between my husband and I became so wide that we separated. Circumstances meant that I did leave her and she stayed with her Dad. But she would often visit me and we started to be able to enjoy each other's company.
From very few GCSEs she has worked her way from being a shop assistant to being an assistant manager in a high street bank and has even been head-hunted within the bank to work at one of their large flagship branches.
Back in her early twenties she started to investigate her background, especially as she was haunted by the knowledge that she had a younger half-brother, but she realized that she wasn't ready. But eighteen months ago she started the journey again and has now met up with her natural mother, the half-brother she knew about and two others. She was welcomed by them all as all the brothers knew that they had an older sister, her Mum had baby photos of them all. Being welcomed by your natural family is very unusual, but Mandie was nearly two when she was given for adoption and I always wondered if at a later date her natural mother regretted it.
Life is full of 'what ifs'!
Mandie's family has grown as she now has two Mums, two adoptive brothers and three half-brothers but still only one Dad as she has no urge to find her biological father.
Mandie and I are now firm friends which is wonderful after all that we have been through, for which I can only give the Lord thanks.

it's all happening

2011-02-14T16:13:00.000Z

They say that things come in threes but I'm not so sure as so many exciting things have happened in the last week.
I went to my first minister's conference which I thoroughly enjoyed as it was a perfect balance to my time at college the previous week. As with most conferences, it is the time in between sessions, during coffee breaks and over meals, that excellent conversations are had and new friendships made. And I love it when within just a few minutes of talking we find that we have mutual friends within the Baptist Church.
For those of you who read my blog but are not on facebook - facebook suggests that you might like to be friends with someone because you have mutual friends. And someone approached me because they liked my description of my religion - 'radical contemplative'. Neither of us recognised each other's name or photo, as they didn't have one and I have Olive Oyl from the Popeye cartoons! But we had met several years ago and have now become firm facebook friends.
I will save my most exciting news for another post, but for now its back to the ironing for me as my head buzzes with the excitement that new friends and conversations bring.

stretched, stimulated and stuffed

2011-02-04T09:01:00.000Z

I'm at college having stayed here overnight, following yesterday's conference on 'Is Universalism an Evangelical Option?' and before my regular 1st Friday in the month course today.
At breakfast, as one of the speakers from yesterday was at the table, I commented how my brain was stretched yesterday and that I was looking forward to it being stimulated and filled today. He commented that it would make a good three point sermon - hence the title of this post!
On telling friends about the day on Universalism, I was asked what it was. And as I have got to an age where I am quite happy to know that I can't know everything, I said I would let them know after the conference. As there were at least two other Baptist bloggers there, as well as the main speaker (look at 'theological scribbles') you may be better off reading their blogs! But the gist of it is that - in the light of thought that all things will be redeemed through Christ - might some be saved the other side of death?
There were four speakers, Robin, who has been exploring this issue for several years, another who spoke against and two others who added to the discussion in the afternoon.
I leant towards the main speaker, not because of what he said but because he was searching and questioning with an open mind. And although others thought that Universalism didn't fit with scripture passages, I believe that it can be very helpful in situations where there is one believer in a partnership, who can hold onto the hope that there will still be a chance for their loved one to be saved on the other side of death.
Having been stretched yesterday, I have no idea what we will be looking at today, but on past experience I know I will be stimulated and stuffed with ideas from my fellow students as well as the tutor.

part time ministry?

2011-01-28T10:29:00.002Z

In the years after leaving college when acting as a spiritual director, I met with several ministers whose churches were only able to afford half a stipend and yet expected their ministers to preach every Sunday. So even before I was officially asked to be the minister here, I made it very clear that in my mind, part-time meant that I would not be preaching every week.
The Chapel had been used to the Moderator taking the services on the first and third Sundays, and enjoyed having input from others on the remaining Sundays. Last year, my first in my new role, I opted to 'do' the first, third and fifth Sundays but I soon learnt that a fifth Sunday is followed by a first, giving me very little time for myself between services - so this year its just the first and third for me!
And January is the first month of the new regime and I have made full use of having an extra spare week. We have been out and about visiting friends, attended the Village Women's belated Christmas lunch, started decorating the downstairs cloakroom and done some long overdue housework. I celebrated two friends 60th birthdays at the Book Club, by drinking champagne and devouring totally illicit but truly scrumptious and beautifully decorated cup cakes make by another of our members.
However, next week is going to be busy as I have booked to attend a day's seminar at college as well as my monthly course, so I am starting early on next week's service which will include welcoming a new member which is very exciting.
But I have become aware that when in public, I never completely throw off my ministerial position, in that respect I am a full time minister.

unity

2011-01-23T16:52:00.000Z

Our nearest town is about five miles away where the churches are very active during the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity, but we do have a very good relationship with our local Anglican Church just a mile from our Chapel.
We get together every year for a joint service, usually held in an evening but last year we had to cancel because the weather was so bad. As both congregations are getting older we opted for an afternoon service this year and although it was at the Anglican Church our Chapel was asked to provide four readers.
We had a good size congregation with Baptists outnumbering the Anglicans by at least two to one! and I felt quite honoured to be asked to join the Vicar at the end of the service to say a blessing.
As well as some of the Anglicans joining us for our Bible Study, we meet each other at the weekly Coffee Morning in the Village Hall, at the monthly Village Women meeting, and at the occasional Book Club meetings, and relationships are forming and growing outside the Church as well as inside but it is so very special to be able to worship together.

going to war

2011-01-21T16:29:00.000Z

Back in 2002 I could never understand why, if Sadaam had weapons of mass destruction which could be here in 45 minutes, going to war was the best thing to do? Surely, if that was correct we could be hit within the hour! It all sounded very fishy to me!
And now we are in Afghanistan, and I've still not understood why?
Although I believe myself to be a pacifist (would I think the same if I had been born a generation earlier?) I think the men and women in the forces should get as much encouragement as possible.
We often see planes flying very low over our house and believe that they will be dropping soldiers on to the Brecon Beacons for a training exercise. As we came back from our walk this afternoon there were empty army trucks being driven towards the Beacons. And so we waved to the drivers, receiving in return the hugest of smiles, waves and toots on the horn!

I didn't have the flu

2011-01-12T12:54:00.000Z

I am nearly back to my usual self; yesterday we had our monthly get-together over sandwiches and a Bible Study with several folk from the Church in the next village (only a mile away). We have some good discussions and its lovely that both the Vicar and Deacon join us. As it is the King James Bible's 400th birthday, we discussed the various translations we use and then looked at the creation stories in Genesis 1 & 2. I will be picking up on this for Sunday's service.
It was lovely to hear that folk were pleased that I was back but I had to stress that I had not had the flu; I had it - once, forty years ago - and it was horrid!
The test to see if you have flu or just some other nasty bug is the £50 note one! If you see a £50 note lying on the ground outside and you are able to get up and get it - you do not have flu! If you had flu, you most probably wouldn't want to open your eyes anyway - too much effort and you certainly wouldn't be able to use your computer!

books

2011-01-08T15:36:00.001Z

During my period of raging lethargy, I have been able to read although I have never been a fast reader. I wrote a couple of weeks ago that I was reading 'Sisters of Sinai'. I was attracted to it by the author, Janet Soskice, who had contributed to 'Swallowing a Fishbone?' with feminist theologians debating Christianity.
The sisters were twins who were born just over 100years before me, in the middle of the Victorian age. However, far from being confined to the home, they had an enlightened father who encouraged them to travel widely even in their teens, although he did require the sisters to learn the language before they visited any country.
Both sisters married quite late in life and both were widowed after three years of marriage and the year before their fiftieth birthday they set out on the first of many trips to St Catherine's monastery in the Sinai desert, where they discovered the oldest copy of the Gospels. The journey would entail a seven day camel ride across the desert, which now takes just three hours by car!
They learnt Greek and Hebrew as well as Arabic and Syriac to enable them to translate the various document that they discovered, which they were still doing well into their seventies!
They were able to make all these trips because their father had inherited a lot of money - the equivalent of £7million and the sisters were the beneficiaries of their father's will which had legal clauses to stop any man from marrying the twins for their money! They always thought that the money was to be used for an important reason rather than just being spent on luxuries but they still managed to buy dresses from Worth in Paris (the one British couturier), wear expensive jewellery and fur coats and possess one of the first motor cars!
I did enjoy reading about their various adventures and as someone who started a new vocation in her forties with a degree, a masters in her fifties and local ministry in her sixties, hopefully I will have the chance to write the book I been planning for many years in my seventies!

radio and the Bible

2011-01-06T11:32:00.001Z

Last Sunday, I spent the morning in bed tuned in to radio4 and for the first time in many, many years I listened to The Archers. I remembering listening to it when I was very little sitting on my Daddy's lap because I was scared of the voice of Walter Gabriel. However, listening to the omnibus edition didn't get me hooked enough to want to listen to the much hyped 60 years special.
However, on Monday, I was hooked when listening to 'The Story of the King James Bible'! So each morning having eaten my porridge, I went back to bed and listened on the following two mornings.
I must admit that although I knew that the Authorised Version (AV) was not entirely accurate, I had no idea that it was translated to 'big-up' royalty.
Over the years I have acquired many translations - I was teased at college because I used the 'Noddy' version (Good News) for my daily use, although I used the Revised English Bible for my college work.
I never liked the NIV, I found it dry, but it seems to have become the translation of choice for many churches. For my personal use I now prefer the New Living Translation, finding it very easy to read out loud - although that was one of the thoughts in the minds of the translators of the AV, and I use the New Revised Standard Version to prepare my sermons.
The Message translates some well known passages in the bible that fill it with new life but it fails in Romans 16:7 giving Junia a sort of masculine name - Junius - translated by yet another man not able to contemplate that Paul would refer to a woman as an apostle!
My Tyndale New Testament translated in 1526 is OK! It seems it is since then that women have been demoted!

raging lethargy

2011-01-03T15:31:00.000Z

There are at least three different bugs doing the rounds in our village, and following a very busy December, I seem to have caught all three - at once. I had the cough in time for the Carol Services, so dared not sing along. The cold came late Boxing Day, quickly followed by the raging lethargy. So for the last week, I have either been in bed or on the settee snuggled in a blanket.
I planned all yesterday's service but by Friday realised I wouldn't be well enough to be there on Sunday.
I have it on good authority that it all went very well with many folk playing their part. Three different Bible readings; read by three different folk, a solo of 'Joy to the World' sung by one of our organists, news from our link missionary in Thailand, a beautiful prayer and the Lord's Supper.
It's quite nice when there is someone else to make the tea and cook the dinners with no other prior engagements to cancel but I'm not recovering quickly enough and so I'm not going to be well enough for my monthly trip to college, dinner with my daughter and a visit to see the Grandboys along with a meeting with an old friend - all carefully arranged but I've got to be sensible!
I was a sickly child and although improved as an adult, now I'm also diabetic, that seems to affect healing which takes longer than average.
I have learnt from this and have already put less in the diary for this year. But for the moment, I shall make the most of the time and carry on with the opportunity to read while the knitting remains untouched - I must be ill!

a bit of a rant

2010-12-29T10:50:00.000Z

I admit it - I'm not a sporty person; yes, I've had my moments - I remember watching Arthur Ash winning Wimbledon!
But I've lived in several areas, including here, where the best radio reception is on longwave. And then the cricket season would come along and I would be deprived of all my favourite programs! I thought my life would get better when Radio 5 was introduced as I was told that this would be for sport - so why was the cricket still broadcast on Radio 4 longwave?
A big fuss has been made about the wonders of DAB radio (although we have no signal here either) and apparently Radio 5 DAB broadcasts the cricket - so why is the cricket still broadcast on Radio 4 longwave.
I wake up in the middle of the night, coughing and spluttering, plug in my earphones to listen to something interesting, only to realise that the ramblings of these men is just the preamble to the last day's play - so I turn on the light, put on my glasses, switch to FM, pull up the aerial, turn the dial, find the best position for the radio and the aerial, lie down and realise that my altered body position alters the reception! Cricket!

gaudaute! rejoice!

2010-12-26T19:18:00.000Z

Many decades ago, our school always had it's end of term Christmas service at the local Parish Church. I remember in the first year being overcome by the beauty of the choir singing 'Gaudaute' as they processed from the crypt up into the Church. It was a technical school - we didn't learn latin but I loved the carol. As soon as I was able, I joined the choir and was part of the procession - for me that was the best part of Christmas. Although as a Baptist I really wasn't sure about bowing to the altar!
When I left school and went to college in London, I made sure that I was back in the Church for the school's Christmas service so that once again I was able to hear 'Gaudaute' first very quietly as the choir started processing and again at the end of the service as they processed back into the crypt.
All these memories stirred up by hearing 'Gautaute' on 'Songs of Praise'.
Gaudaute, gaudaute! Christus est natus
Ex Maria virgine, gaudaute!
Rejoice, rejoice! Christ is born
Of the virgin Mary - rejoice!

Christmas

2010-12-26T14:58:00.000Z

One can always tell if I'm not feeling 100% if I don't pick up my knitting! It's been untouched since Thursday!
I've had a niggling cough for over a week but Christmas morning I felt really rough - but not enough to stop me from going to Chapel! We drove instead of walking the half mile as we thought the -10degrees would not do me any good! All went well but on coming home I didn't manage to eat my dinner - a very bad sign! So I snuggled up on the settee and slept!
This morning I was feeling better but as it was just as cold we again drove to Chapel.
Yesterday there were 10 of us and today just 7 - the minister and spouse and all the deacons! This was due partly to folk going to their relatives rather than family coming to them but mostly because although the main roads are clear, many folk have to come on side roads which are still covered in compacted snow - now ice!
Because Christmas is a working day for me, the kiddies either stay in their own homes or go to their inlaws and we are quite happy having a very quiet day, with no tree, decorations, turkey or even presents except the one from our eldest. A cd for him and a book for her - chosen from a certain website's wish-list!
I don't think the knitting will be touched for another day but I am enjoying my book 'Sisters of Sinai', about twin sisters who on their travels 150 years ago, discovered some of the earliest copies of the gospels - compelling reading!

seeing red

2010-12-20T11:04:00.000Z

Here in this part of Wales, when there is a funeral everyone wears black, whereas in the South East of England, I stopped wearing black in the 1970's!
We had another funeral last Friday and again, about 200 people came to pay their respects! Unfortunately, our Chapel only seats about 80; the Baptist Union handbook includes the number we can squeeze in with seating in the school room and the stable! We usually have folk standing outside - these are the people who would never come into a church or chapel!
The weather was not quite so cold as at the previous funeral but everyone came in - shoulder to shoulder standing in the porch and the kitchen!
It was very sad to say goodbye to Barbara as she was so incredibly active in the community; at 77 she was still writing the village news letter and cycling everywhere - including to Chapel. One Sunday last year she was not in Chapel and we learnt that she was with a friend in his micro-light up in the sky!

She died while line-dancing with her friends in the village hall!

There seemed to be nothing wrong with Barbara - such a fit active lady.
But over the previous few weeks I had noticed that she was one of the first to arrive at Chapel rather than one of the last, and she was singing the hymns even more lustily. On her last Sunday with us, she was one of the last to leave, it was as if she didn't want to go - was she making the most of her time in Chapel? She talked to me about the previous funeral and said that she would like everyone to wear some red to her funeral! I thought that would be a long time in the future!

We could always see Barbara coming as she always wore red - she loved the colour! I was not the only one she had told about her funeral arrangements and word soon spread around!

Everyone did wear black but there were red scarves worn by the most conservative of men, red gloves and hats - it was an amazing sight!

The family said that they would love it if the Christmas tree was up for the funeral - and it was decorated with red decorations.

It did stop snowing, and the Council followed the family's request and gritted the minor roads!

The sun shone and a red kite (the feathered variety) flew overhead!

So many stories were told; she taught her french Grandson how to play football, she had organised village pantomimes, she had even arranged for a donkey at Chapel one Palm Sunday!

She was a wonderful lady and will be missed.

a nice surprise

2010-12-01T15:29:00.001Z

Yesterday I awoke to a couple of inches of snow and as I was tired after the emotions of my first funeral with burial, I decided that the settee was the best place to spend the day!
With the aid of my trusty laptop I was able to prepare Sunday's service, and then contemplated my monthly visit to Spurgeon's which enables me to see all my kiddies - they are all in their thirties now but I still refer to them as little goats! I decided to cancel as I did not want to get stuck on the motorway! So as well as being tired I was now sad as I would not be seeing the kiddies and SuperStan and TrifficTed, the grandboys, before Christmas.
Then the front door bell rang, it was my neighbour who helps out at the school with a large brown envelope and a small present.
Inside the envelope were 11 A4 pieces of paper all with a photocopied sketch of the Chapel, each coloured in, with messages of thanks from the pupils who visited the Chapel a couple of weeks ago. They are so lovely that I'm going to put them up on the porch wall so that folk can look at them as they come into Chapel. The present was a box of Maltesers which I love, and allow myself just a couple after dinner!
They were all quite unexpected and it was lovely to see that the children had had a fun time! It quite brightened my day!

under it all

2010-11-29T14:54:00.000Z

We were on one of our regular trips to London last week when we got the news that one of our elderly gents had suddenly died.
On our return home, having visited the family and then prepared the service, I heard the weather forecast, so set about finding a warm winter-weight jacket. Non to be found in the two towns that I frequent and so I resorted to buying warm black fabric, lining etc. etc. and making it myself.
Although the weather forecast predicted clouds it was a beautiful sunny morning but still very chilly - so on went layers of clothes.
Usual undies, then cami-top, long sleeved silk vest, thin black jumper and clerical blouse on the top half, with one pair of usual tights, one pair of thick black tights, silk short johns, petticoat and lined skirt all topped with new lined black jacket plus gown - Welsh funerals are done in style! Nose and hands were still cold!
We have about 20 at our Sunday service but today the Chapel was packed, and the school room was packed and the 'stable' was packed and yet more were standing outside - rough guess; about 150! We have loudspeakers on the outside of the Chapel so that the whole village can hear the service!
George was the gent who was persuaded to get a scooter so that he could get to the Chapel for his grandaughter's wedding and he has been coming to Chapel ever since.
How can one not love a 90 year old guy who winks at you across the Chapel when we are saying the Grace to each other!
God bless you George - see you on the other side.

school trip

2010-11-18T15:06:00.001Z

I loved the school trips all those years ago. We 'did' so many of the London tourist places - Tower of London, Madame Tussauds, the Planetarium etc.
One of the classes from our local school came to our chapel this morning! This is rather special as it is a Church of England school (in Wales!) and they have all their special services at the 'big' church, but the teacher wanted the children to know the difference between church and chapel.
As I live just round the corner from the school I went to meet the children there and we walked in crocodile fashion the half mile to the chapel.
They loved the huge old Bible with colour plates and brass catches, placed open on the communion table and the long-handled candle snuffer for the central candelabra (we do have electric lights as well!)
I explained the difference between Infant Baptism and Adult Baptism - not the theological points but how wet or not one gets! One lad wanted to know how it was done and he was game for me to hold him and lean him back - but we didn't get into the river to do it - it was rather swollen, brown, and I expect it was cold!
Another lad asked the best question -"How long do you stay under the water?" along with "Do you wear swimming costumes?"
They were intrigued with the grave stones, noting that many of them have the name of the farm or house where the person lived.
And then there was the gravestone with the mistake, '1985 - 1973' - whoops!
Over an hour later we walked back to the school with many sketches done of the chapel - such fun.

diabetes

2010-11-15T15:08:00.000Z

I note that it is World Diabetes Day and that they are promoting physical activity as more and more people are becoming type 2 diabetics through eating more, or the wrong, food than is needed for the activity they do.
But that is not the only reason that people become type 2 diabetics as I know from experience! I've been told by my friends not complain because M&S have stopped selling trousers in a size 10 long. From that you should be able to tell that I am far from being overweight!
Little is made of the fact that stress can cause diabetes and although my life has changed and I am no longer in that stressful environment, I am still diabetic - and slim!

facebook

2010-11-15T14:56:00.000Z

it was my daughter who persuaded me to join facebook - it seems to be the easiest way to contact her!
Then I found that I was able to stay in touch with many friends from way back including college friends from the 1960's! other college friends from the 1990's as well as my sons, my brother, step brothers and all their sons and daughters. However, my eldest son says that knowing that his mother can read his facebook wall does cramp his style!
Over the weekend my younger son posted a photo of his foot, with his little toe swollen and a beautiful shade of purple! Several friends were able to leave sympathetic comments, asking how he had hurt himself.
He replied that he had stubbed it on a chair, had taken the Lord's name in vain, and that the toe had actually fallen off but he had managed to fix it back on with wrigleys and a cocktail stick.
I then felt quite awkward... should one really fall about laughing when one's baby boy has hurt himself?

bust, busy, busy - rest!

2010-11-08T12:53:00.000Z

Life seems to have been very busy over the last few weeks and today I've stopped - but that just means that the dust and general clutter and the liberal sprinkling of papers and books over my study floor are shouting to be cleared up!
So instead I sit here at my computer, gazing out of the window at pockets of blue sky wondering where the rain forecast for this morning has gone?

I have returned from my monthly fix of study at Spurgeon's. I love driving so the journey from South Wales to South London is a delight.
I journey the day before and stay at college overnight. This time I visited friends 'from way back when' we were teenagers. It was lovely to see the result of their hobbies since retiring. He takes photos and beautifully transforms them with the aid of his computer, while she has discovered that she has a talent for water colours.
Then shopping and a meal with my daughter.

After the course it was a drive to Brighton in time to bath the grandsons - such fun! and read bed-time stories to the eldest while Mummy was feeding the little one.

Saturday morning was a drive up the M23, round the M25 to Epping Forest where my eldest is living the good life, complete with chickens and loads of home-grown veg.

Then back into my trusty steed, back to Wales and into Sunday with a sermon on Titus, with folk looking up all the passages where he is mentioned to imagine the man he was!

Life is very full and never boring!

2010-11-01T10:09:00.000Z

We have been looking a Paul in our bible studies/discussion group and so I followed the theme through to Sunday with 'Road to Damascus' experiences. I found a beautiful piece in 'Shadowlands' of Joy Gresham's experience - the shock for her of being a communist atheist on her knees praying!

I altered my prepared sermon in the light of watching 'The Big Silence' with Christopher Jamison, the former Abbot of Worth. Five folk spent an eight day retreat in silence. Each in their own way had a profound sense of God being with them, even though only one of the group found it relatively easy to get into the silence.

Christopher explained that silence is the gateway to the soul, and the soul is the gateway to God.
But this leaves me with a nagging question around the 'Myers Briggs Type Indicator' (MBTI).
Where does this leave Extroverts who mostly get their energy from others and find retreats very draining?
Or is this why four of the five had such a tough time getting into the silence?
Or is it that silence is so different to our everyday lives it becomes quite scary?
I would welcome any comments!

glitches

2010-11-01T09:53:00.000Z

There still seems to be a glitch on my blog which doesn't allow me to add to comments.
So thank you to Angela, who's married to a techno-wizz, for your offer and to Catriona for your encouragement.
It all went well and the chapel folk enjoyed the music and singing along with others on the ipod.
I had previously chosen hymns around the theme of being called weren't on the ipod so instead chose some Graham Kendrick hymns, one of which was new to them but they soon picked it up.
Yes, of course they would rather have our organist but they did enjoy the ipod for a change.

how will they take it?

2010-10-29T09:59:00.000+01:00

...hopefully very well! as they are very forgiving folk at Chapel!
Let me explain -
We have no organist for this coming Sunday as she is poorly. So do we sing unaccompanied?
Our organist is an excellent singer as well who can get us all singing - I am no good - I can only follow.
We do have electricity and a loop system, but no mixing desk or computer and projector. Think back 30 or 40 years and that's us!

And then I had a bright idea. I do have an ipod which has all my favourite CDs on it, including many hymns. So I abandoned all the hymns I had chosen for Sunday as none of them were on the ipod and chose new hymns that were sung relatively slowly, and with a long lead I've manage to get the hymns to come through the loudspeakers.
I just hope the Chapel folk won't mind singing along with an ipod!

career or vocation?

2010-10-24T15:37:00.000+01:00

This morning on Radio 4's 'Sunday' program, the bishop of Fulham was being interviewed on his plans to become a Roman Catholic priest in response to the Anglican's move to have women bishops.
He spoke about the fact that he was following his vocation, it was not a career and therefore he would like to become a priest but was also aware that he may be a lay person within the Roman Catholic church. He would go where the church told him.

Is that the difference? My move to the ministry was not my choice, it was a calling that I could not ignore! Do some Anglicans take more note of church and tradition, than of the call of God? or is it that the church's tradition speaks so loudly that it is difficult to hear God.
In Christ there is no male or female; all are equal!

28:19 or 21:17

2010-10-17T15:14:00.000+01:00

Dare I admit it?
I've always found the Great Commission in Matthew's Gospel difficult!
And I've grown up finding missionary service difficult!
There - it's out in the open!

The first is because I prefer Jesus' commission in John's Gospel as it is more fitting with my personality and the second is because I knew several sons and daughters of missionaries who were literally shipped home to England to go to boarding school - I didn't think it was right!

But over the years I have softened in my outlook, especially now knowing several friends who work for the BMS and hearing more about the work of those abroad.

This weekend, four small Baptist chapels have had a visit from their 'link missionary'. For those who have no idea what this is.....
Some churches have folk who were part of their membership who have been called into missionary work but for other churches with no missionary of their own, they are given a link missionary.

Our four chapels, two on the border in England and two on the border in Wales share Judy. Yesterday, we gathered in England to worship, hear about her work, have tea and eat Thai food from a local restaurant and share communion.
And this morning we gathered in Wales to worship, hear about her work, pray for her as she returns to Thailand at the end of the month and get to know her a little better over coffee and cakes.

Judy used to be a children's nurse and was happy in her work but felt a call to missionary service. Having been sent to Thailand to undertake looking after those with AIDS and HIV, she started fostering a little girl and then found she was fostering a boy and then another girl until she is now running a Thai government approved foster home with six full time staff, several of whom came from very difficult backgrounds and in need of a fresh start in life.

I found it very reassuring that in my life too, God called me to one thing and it was only as time went by that I realised that it was so I could be in the right place to do something else.

I am excited about the work Judy is doing and how she is open to God, knowing that she doesn't know what will happen next but fully trusts God, knowing that God will provide.
And I feel that I have made a new friend! and for that I thank God

60 is the new 40

2010-09-27T12:29:00.000+01:00

for several years I have heard people say this and this morning Harriet Harman was reported as saying that life begins at sixty. I wonder what happens at forty now?!
Apparently I was 'over the hill' at thirty, and found my 35th birthday very difficult - I'd reached the halfway point to three score years and ten!
In my forties I went back to college to train for the ministry - a complete change from the world of creating wedding dresses. I hadn't done much reading before then and now my walls started to become covered in books on shelves.
In my fifties, I moved house and became an 'earth mother' as predicted by my fellow students, leading the 'good life', growing our own veggies and baking bread, and followed the ministry of being available to those who wanted to make use of my counselling skills and theological training.
In my sixties another change, another house move and the call to be the minister of the local Chapel.
So what is so good about being 60?
I think it is that I am happy being me. I don't have the desire to be anything different. But is that because of my age or is it because I am so fortunate to have the ability to live where we do and have enough money not to worry? Maybe it is because I'm old enough and have lived long enough to have worked out what is important in life; a knowledge that I am loved by God and others, and everything else is secondary.

harvest and back to church Sunday

2010-09-26T15:36:00.001+01:00

It was a beautiful morning as we walked to Chapel - chilly but the sky was bright blue, the sun was shining and the leaves were just starting to turn.
The Chapel had been decorated by eight of our ladies on Friday afternoon and the smell of the apples as we entered was lovely.
As our theme today was Jesus' saying of "I am the Bread of Life", we had coffee with Barabrith, the traditional Welsh teabread after the service.
Although we didn't have anyone coming back to church our numbers topped 20 which is a lot for us.
But we did have a couple of visitors who were on holiday staying at a B&B run by one of our members.
The husband knew that his family had originally come from this area but we were all surprised to find out that although they had never met before - his uncle's sister is one of our deacons! So we had a family union over coffee and Barabrith, where six 2nd cousins were able to chat to each other!

comments

2010-09-26T15:10:00.000+01:00

I'm still learning as to how this blog works! and still can't find out how to make comments on my own blog!
So thank you to both Angela and Catriona for your comments.
It is lovely to be part of the blogging community - one feels hugged from afar!

I haven't actually jumped through all the hoops...
In the various Baptist churches of which I have been a member it was agreed that no husband and wife should be on the same committee. So when I entered the room for my min.rec. interview and saw the small panel - only 6 out of the usual 12 and two were married and had already made wild assumptions about me - I knew I wouldn't get it.
However, the college said still come and get min.rec. later. At a later date I had another interview at college for them to say whether they thought I was suitable minister material before going back to min.rec.
Then my personal circumstances changed, I didn't go back to min.rec. and now it is too late.
I think a lot of it has to do with pensions but I already have mine!

it's my age

2010-09-24T12:17:00.002+01:00

at least, I assume that's the problem - no one has told me exactly why...

I've received confirmation that I am now a BU recognised 'lay preacher', and will get my hand shaken at the next Baptist Assembly.

Although I undertook a three year full-time BD followed by an MTh, and have been called to be the minister of the local chapel, there seems to be no way that I can be recognised as a 'proper' minister, apart from waiting five years. We moved here to retire and I already collect my OAP pension - in five years time the chapel and myself could be thinking that I really ought to step down from the pulpit.

Having had my little rant - I don't mind being called a recognised preacher, but I do object to being called a 'lay' preacher. I was called to the ministry 18 years ago, giving up a successful business designing wedding dresses. My ministry is my work and has been since leaving college and I wouldn't change a thing - except my title!

tributes

2010-09-08T09:17:00.002+01:00

As well as the usual floral tributes at the roadside where the young man died 10 days ago, we have become aware of who his friends are on our estate - as their cars are covered in messages; 'RIP', 'gone but not forgotten', heart shapes, the year of his birth and death and his name - written in lipstick?

am I part of a herd?

2010-09-07T12:49:00.003+01:00

I was half listening to Woman's Hour while cleaning the bathroom, when I heard a woman who used to live in Baghdad say that she didn't agree with any sort of religion as it turned people into a herd. Of course it was at this point I tried to start listening with my full attention while wondering why folk have this impression.

Several years ago I was often asked if I was a 'born again' Christian but I wasn't quite sure what they meant or even if they knew what they meant! Are there really two classes of Christians?

But I am aware that every Christian is at a different stage of developing - just as we develop physically and mentally over the years.

As I have aged I may have become even more questioning of the church and the ways things are done - but for me, following Christ has meant that I have slowly become and am still becoming the person that God created me to be - different from everybody else.

at last

2010-09-01T09:06:00.002+01:00

Many weeks ago I received a message via facebook of a couple celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary and she was wearing her wedding dress that I had made for her all those years ago!

I hadn't seen either of them since their wedding day and was quite confused as neither of them looked 25 years older. With the wonders of facebook, I was able to get the permission of the bride to put it on my blog and then as a bit of a novice to the blogging game, I had to work out how to get it from facebook on to my desktop and then to my blog - I hope it all works!

Many, many congratulations to S & S, and especially to the bride for staying the same size!

angry with God

2010-08-31T09:44:00.002+01:00

When I was called to be the minister at the local chapel it was on a part-time basis and as I had heard of some horror stories of ministers who were paid on a part-time basis but expected to preach every Sunday, I agreed to preach on the 1st, 3rd and 5th Sunday of every month. Which means that just a few times a year I take the services on two consecutive Sundays.

So having preached last Sunday, it's head down in my books preparing for next week.

I have been enjoying looking for 'hidden gems' in the Minor Prophets over the summer weeks - Habakkuk this week - which Paul quoted from at the beginning of his letter to the Romans.

Gosh - Habakkuk was so angry with God and had some real ding-dong arguments with him! It's good to know that we too can be angry with God and He still loves us and wants the best for us.

within a few hours

2010-08-29T14:43:00.002+01:00

On Friday evening a young man died in a car accident on the main road running through our village. And the same evening the new wife of a friend who I have known for over thirty years died of a massive brain haemorrhage. A few hours later, in the ambulance outside my son's house my new grandson came into the world - as yet with no name.

And life goes on .......

a very strange thing

2010-08-25T08:55:00.003+01:00

We have just returned from a few days away, during which we visited Brighton beach. While standing at the sea shore, breathing in the seaweed smell and moisture coming off the sea, we watched a young man (he was young compared to us!) remove his jeans and top, put on an all in one suit (would it be a wet or dry suit?) matching booties and put his clothes into a see-through duffle bag. This bag had a long piece of string attached - he sealed the bag and tied it around his waist and walked into the sea - the waves were about four feet high so it was not easy for him - and then he started swimming out to sea with the bag floating behind him. He left no sign that he had ever been on the beach!

We left the beach with our heads full of questions... where was he swimming to? it's a long way to France from Brighton! and Why?!!! was he a real James Bond or Spook?

my first

2010-08-16T09:48:00.002+01:00

Yesterday I took my first dedication service or rather it was a blessing as his Mum used to come to our Sunday School but has since moved away and only occasionally goes to church.

I was warned in advance by Grandma that this was not a small baby and I knew he was six months old. So I was rather wary as I knew that when my sons were that age they became very particular over who held them.

Being an older baby and noticing what was around him, Dad quickly undid my radio mike and then baby was far too interested in my chain on which I wear a cross to be aware of anything else that was happening.

I know that in the Baptist Union's suggested service it states that the minister carries the baby through to the back of the church but as we have a small chapel so everyone could see him, I declined and quickly gave him back to his Dad!

Last Sunday we were very thin on the ground due to holidays but this week not only did we have the family and friends of the baby, we also had several folk visiting who were here on holiday.

Judging what to preach on, especially as I knew that there would be rare church-goers, caused a bit of a big think and prayer. But as I have been looking at well known verses from the minor prophets during the summer - we looked at Jonah; a character that the rare church-goers know of but the full story that not many church goers have heard. How good to read that Jonah was so angry with God - somehow it means that we can be angry as well and yet God still loves and cares for us.

I'm bored

2010-08-12T14:48:00.002+01:00

well, not me today! but it was a cry I would make to my Mum way back then when I was on my school holidays.

I was thinking about this only yesterday, was I really bored? or was I tired, as I was a bit of a weak child and sometimes didn't have the energy to do anything? And then this morning they were talking on radio 4's 'Today' about children being bored during the holidays.

I cannot remember my children ever telling me they were bored - lego kept them happy from their pre-school days till their teenage days - even on our camping holidays! Go anywhere near water and they would be singing the bucket of water song - and emptying the buckets over themselves - bring back Tiswas!

So why are some of the children of today bored on their holidays? Is it because they spend so much time playing on computers that they don't know what to do when they are without them when they go away on holiday?

And maybe when my best friend from childhood moved away I too felt lost and didn't know what to do with myself. I'm no longer bored, especially as I'm now married to my childhood friend.

and there is more!

2010-08-06T11:19:00.002+01:00

Giles Fraser's 'Thought for the day' on weddings has been picked up by the Daily Express and on their website there are also comments on the article.

Some have written about why brides wear white - and yes it is nothing to do with purity and whether one is still a virgin when walking down the aisle.

And yes, it is partly to do with wealth. In the days before washing machines and easily washable fabrics, it was only the wealthy who would wear white as they were not the ones doing all the hard dirty work including the washing.

But the other reason was that brides would wear their new best dress for their wedding and the wealthy would wear the dress which they wore when being presented to the king or queen - the debutants! The dress would have a train usually attached at the shoulders which was known as a 'court train'.

And that is why many, many years later, brides still wear white and the dress will often have a train!

And why bridesmaids...? Get ready all you Christians....

the bridesmaids wear similar dresses to the bride to confuse the evil spirits so that they do not know which is the bride!

more weddings

2010-08-05T08:45:00.002+01:00

Yesterday morning on radio 4's Thought for the day, Giles Fraser spoke about the amount of preparation and money spent on the wedding day.

A woman was on Today this morning to defend weddings, saying that she had ten years experience in the wedding 'industry' (I'm sure it was that word)!

As someone who has had forty-three years experience, I feel I may have slightly more experience!

I'm not sure that weddings have changed much in the last ten years, but they certainly have in the last forty years.

Then, there were no wedding magazines, wedding dresses were often a simple long white version of what was worn everyday. The reception was usually for around 50 guests and there were no favours (small gifts for the guests).

Now, brides can spend thousands of pounds on a dress to be worn for just one day. Receptions are often for 100 plus with another party in the evening for more guests.

So much preparation, time and money is put into weddings, that many couples delay until they can afford to pay for their dream wedding.

Some of the best weddings I have been to are where friends and relations help to prepare for the day; making dresses, baking cakes, driving cars with the reception being held in a church hall or back garden.

It has been since the introduction of many of the wedding magazines, helping you to prepare for the 'big' day, that weddings have gone crazy! Let's keep it simple!

The hidden Church

2010-08-04T10:09:00.002+01:00

On Sunday I was invited to preach at a little Chapel that I had heard about, but hadn't been to before. I was given directions and had found it on my map. Most of the journey was on twisting, single track lanes with very high bushes on either sides. And then the lanes didn't seem to agree with my map and the Chapel was no-where to be seen.

I stopped the car outside a cottage and asked the way and was told to go down the unmade track with the no-through road sign!

I guess the members of the Chapel did not want visitors or new members! But the five members of the congregation plus organist were very friendly and the singing was excellent - hymns I remember from my childhood!

Weddings; Golden, White, Red & Green

2010-08-03T12:16:00.002+01:00

Last Friday, we felt very honoured to be invited to help celebrate the golden wedding anniversary of the couple who took me under their wings in my student pastorate, sixteen years ago.

And on Saturday I took my first marriage at the Chapel. Many people were invited and had to squash up on the pews, with others standing outside, and so the outside speakers were put on so that everybody could hear the service.

Fortunately this is an English speaking part of Wales but the whole service was very Welsh!

The bride was in white with a large red dragon embroidered on the train of her dress, with one bridesmaid in red and the other in green. The flowers were red and white with green foliage, the groom with a red cravat and the ushers with green.

All the orders of service were tied together with white, red and green ribbons. We sang 'Cwm Rhonda', 'Jerusalem' (the valleys also have their satanic mills!) and 'We'll keep a welcome in the hillsides'.

The Welsh theme was continued to the reception; each place setting had a large welsh-cake in the shape of a dragon.

Two days of celebrations with two very large meals, means I shall take things easy this week - especially at meal-times!

Afternoon ramble

2010-07-29T10:01:00.003+01:00

Yesterday I managed to finish preparing for Sunday's service, and the wedding service for Saturday was also prepared, which is good as we are busy today and tomorrow!

So yesterday afternoon we went for a walk up a country lane until we reached Offa's Dyke path and then we came back along the path over the fields back to our home.

Once we reach Offa's Dyke (the dyke can no longer be seen around here) we stop and sit down to partake of afternoon tea - tea bag, mugs, spoon, hot water in a thermos flask and yummy biscuits all carried in a small rucksack.

The views were wonderful, blue sky, white clouds, green fields, pale yellow fields which had already been harvested - we could see for miles, spotting the site where we had lunch a few weeks ago on the top of the hill across the valley. We waved at the train - cos you do - well we do!

And marvelled at the buzzard which we watched for ages and it never once flapped its wings - it glided all over the valley, showing off its markings as it flew above us - Wonderful!

Erotic Love

2010-07-26T09:25:00.003+01:00

There have been many letters in the Baptist Times in response to articles written by the blogger 'nah then' (see side column). One points out that "...the Bible itself is 'X-rated'. Mutilations, rape and dismemberment are found within its pages." I must admit that I was shocked when I first read my Bible from cover to cover, discovering things that I had never heard in church!

Next Saturday I shall be taking a wedding, and as I prepared a little talk, I decided to use a few verses from 'Song of Songs' or 'Song of Solomon' as it is called in some translations. Wow, that was difficult - so there I was using just a few verses and then stopping short - not because I thought any visitors would be shocked at the language - but because I thought it may offend some church-goers! We don't usually hear sermons from that book!